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Array ( [sid] => 95040 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => One Day [time] => 2005-05-19 19:20:41 [hometext] => please rate this..I NEED feedback! [bodytext] => One day

One day the world will stop spinning and the clouds will come crashing down.
The friends that we know all so well will suddenly disappear.
One day the houses that we live in will fall through the ground and be gone forever.
The family that we loved will eventually fade away.
One day the leaves will fall from the trees and land in the sky.
The dreams of all the people that have ever dreamed will suddenly fade away.
One Day the world will vanish.
[comments] => 2 [counter] => 184 [topic] => 51 [informant] => Fears [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Event )

One Day

Contributed by Fears on Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 07:20:41 PM in AEST
Topic: Event

One day

One day the world will stop spinning and the clouds will come crashing down.
The friends that we know all so well will suddenly disappear.
One day the houses that we live in will fall through the ground and be gone forever.
The family that we loved will eventually fade away.
One day the leaves will fall from the trees and land in the sky.
The dreams of all the people that have ever dreamed will suddenly fade away.
One Day the world will vanish.

Copyright © Fears ... [ 2005-05-19 19:20:41]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: One Day (User Rating: 1 )
by Sinned on Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 07:45:42 PM AEST
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Fears

There is nothing to fear,but fear itself---"Franklyn D Roservelt.
One of the oldest Catholic prayers is. "The Glory Be"
Glory be to The Father
Glory be to the Son
Glory be to the Spirit
World without end--amen

This prayer used to be in the Methodist book of prayers,but was taken out around the year 1854----It didn't fit with the rapture theory or revulation.

Even Martin Luther said---"If it were not for the Roman Catholic Church we wouldn't have our scripture.--the Bible.
To me your poem is fairly well written,but full of wrong theories. Read,read,read--religon and history they go together becaust History is HIS--STORY
I found your write interesting; write more please.

Sinned

Re: One Day (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Wednesday, 25th May 2005 @ 05:23:12 PM AEST
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(That one day this world will vanish, to be replaced by a new one, is quite clear in scripture, regardless of what the Catholic Church thinks)

The theme of the poem is good, it has a grand feeling to it, that works well. It needs shorter lines, though. It's important to give this kind of theme a flow, making it feel active, and the right lengths and breaks of line can give it that. I think the last line can stay as is, but the others need some restructuring.

Just my thoughts. Keep it up, my friend.

Andrew

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