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Array ( [sid] => 94941 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Mapping the Stars [time] => 2005-05-18 21:47:29 [hometext] => Any criticism is welcome... I really want to improve this poem. [bodytext] => You gave me more than I can imagine,
From invisible things to realism.
When I’m with you my life is heaven,
You can haunt me and be my phantom.

You make my life worth living today,
Making my life bearable for tomorrow.
You and me, together we’ll runaway,
We’ll play and joke on a golden meadow.

We can experience the blue ocean,
Fly until we touch the ceiling of the sky.
Feel the clouds as if they were cotton,
Laugh until our lungs burst and we’ll cry.

Get to wander off the Earth into space,
Feel the cold icy temperature of Pluto.
Around the galaxy we’ll have a long race,
Fly around in circles of that blissful halo.

We’ll make it back to Earth in happiness,
Feeling the wind breeze past us in unison.
Taking one last glance at beautiful Venus,
It’s glory and magnificence unspoken. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 180 [topic] => 54 [informant] => Crimson_Valley [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 2 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => happypoetry )

Mapping the Stars

Contributed by Crimson_Valley on Wednesday, 18th May 2005 @ 09:47:29 PM in AEST
Topic: happypoetry

You gave me more than I can imagine,
From invisible things to realism.
When I’m with you my life is heaven,
You can haunt me and be my phantom.

You make my life worth living today,
Making my life bearable for tomorrow.
You and me, together we’ll runaway,
We’ll play and joke on a golden meadow.

We can experience the blue ocean,
Fly until we touch the ceiling of the sky.
Feel the clouds as if they were cotton,
Laugh until our lungs burst and we’ll cry.

Get to wander off the Earth into space,
Feel the cold icy temperature of Pluto.
Around the galaxy we’ll have a long race,
Fly around in circles of that blissful halo.

We’ll make it back to Earth in happiness,
Feeling the wind breeze past us in unison.
Taking one last glance at beautiful Venus,
It’s glory and magnificence unspoken.

Copyright Â© Crimson_Valley ... [ 2005-05-18 21:47:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Mapping the Stars (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 19th May 2005 @ 06:23:58 AM AEST
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Well i do not know enough about poetry to offer criticism *constructive* , however i think this is well written and great imagery

Leia : )

Re: Mapping the Stars (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 20th May 2005 @ 01:52:44 AM AEST
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fantastic poem I loved it ..

Re: Mapping the Stars (User Rating: 1 )
by lovestruck on Wednesday, 2nd August 2006 @ 06:17:01 PM AEST
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as always I really liked this one! I really love how you've made it seem like it could really happen, as I was reading this I could almost see it taking place! great job!!
Taylor

Re: Mapping the Stars (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Sunday, 13th April 2014 @ 05:25:46 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

beautifully written, great images,

hugs n' love nessa

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