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Array
(
[sid] => 94469
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Nightly Disturbances
[time] => 2005-05-15 15:53:38
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? Peace of mind flees me as the clock strikes nine. I endlessly repeat in my head, that everything will be fine, but it never is. I try to cry, I try to fly, I just try to get away, but I can never seem to leave my bed. A prisoner to my sorrows, a slave to the debt that I borrowed, who can understand this point in time, this point in time that is called my life. I shed a tear each time I pass a mirror, for the reflection I see is not the man I used to be. Intentions of good will now turned to anger, hate and feelings of ill will. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? Who can understand this point in time, a point in time that is called my life? God forbid I live eighty years like this, for this is a torture equivalent to the gates of hell. No man can live without peace of mind, for in my time we call it insanity. I cry out, I never use to be this way, please don’t have these disturbances stay. For my sleep is broken, and sleep is hard to obtain. Try hard as I might, these disturbances do not go away, I find no peace until the break of day. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? A still small voice says to me that everything will be fine, just trust in me. My inner heart screams trust? What is trust, a simple word that connects two souls in a deeper way, this little word only is screaming break me right away. I’ve lived my present as a lesson from the past, I taught my heart to trust no one, not even myself. The heart is deep and holds many evil secrets; lies, deception, anger, and hate all have residence there. These demons live under the murky waters of the heart, and who can see them? Until the waters are stirred, and their resting places up rooted will they leap out of the depths and rear their ugly faces. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? Many men have tried fine wine to ease their troubled times. Others have laid their heads in the bosom of women. Pray tell me how can two troubled souls fine peace of mind? This I see as complete and total foolishness. I have searched the world for which we live in. Seeking the answer to ease my troubled mind, I filled my life with every possession I could find. Thinking this would make me happy, it did but for only a short time. Then as I lay my head back down to sleep, those nightly disturbances return as my company to keep. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? A supernatural being who also was a man I did receive into my home one night. He told me of the things He was about to do, and I could see His sorrows too. The man of trouble He was called, I’m sure He had His share of nightly disturbances as well. His back was curled forward, His face looked ghastly and pale, He had the appearance of not being well. As I looked into His eyes again, I became alarmed as I began to see myself. I felt a connection with Him, as if our hearts were one, as I felt His heart I could tell it was pure and rich at the core, rather then mine which was so poor. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine? I woke one day to the news that my friend was being taken away. This man who stayed at my home was being accused of committing evil and perverse things. I felt ashamed as I heard the accusations and wondered why I felt so miss led. They said His punishment was execution by a cross, that night I felt so lonely and loss. As I watched him hanging there, I no longer saw the man who was at my house. He looked like the man in the reflection of my mirror. I realized they were crucifying me, I screamed out and cried stop, you killing me! As his blood ran, mine did as well. I began to feel weak and fell. My heart began to swell, and at last the walls of my heart’s garrison fell. I realized that this man was someone sent from heaven, with a plan to free me of my nightly disturbances. Who can calm this troubled heart of mine, only this man who I died with that night. Seven is the number of completion, no longer do I ask who can calm my troubled heart. The life that I now live is free of my horrid nightly disturbances, because they all died and were cast from me. I am free indeed. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 75 [informant] => midnightwriter [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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