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Array ( [sid] => 93985 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => On Broken Nails [time] => 2005-05-10 23:19:38 [hometext] => Spare of the moment poem about today. [bodytext] => Spidering under the doorframe
Creeping on broken nails
The light edges its way forward
To banish my solitude

I sat in blissful darkness
Without color and no hue
My obolisque of blackness
Spoiled by a fluro tube

I am the shattered man
Your brightness makes me hollow
And come a time of gods and light
Its death that I will follow [comments] => 6 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Jimmato [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

On Broken Nails

Contributed by Jimmato on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 11:19:38 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Spidering under the doorframe
Creeping on broken nails
The light edges its way forward
To banish my solitude

I sat in blissful darkness
Without color and no hue
My obolisque of blackness
Spoiled by a fluro tube

I am the shattered man
Your brightness makes me hollow
And come a time of gods and light
Its death that I will follow

Copyright Â© Jimmato ... [ 2005-05-10 23:19:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:19:16 AM AEST
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N ice poem i like it:)

Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:20:01 AM AEST
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"Your brightness makes me hollow"

Very cool.

Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 12:55:10 AM AEST
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wow this is dark but i really enjoyed this poem
short but to the point and the last stanza just hit me, great word use
powerful poem, i applaud u

Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 02:31:43 AM AEST
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I feel this piece is rather symbolical.
It feels stained by mixed emotions, yet predominantly crestfallen in disposition or circumstance.
I find it interesting that you have related your feelings to that of “no hue” or color.
I also admire the concept of darkness becoming ‘spoiled’ by that of light, and question why you have chosen fluorescent light. Literally they represent an intersection of extremes.
Perhaps I am misinterpreting/overanalyzing.
“Your brightness makes me hollow
And come a time of gods and light
Its death that I will follow”

I simply adore the contrast.
A great technique of emphasis!

A celestial write!

Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 07:44:08 PM AEST
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i like this poem....well kind of. what does it mean? :(

Re: On Broken Nails (User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on Wednesday, 8th June 2005 @ 05:42:04 AM AEST
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i liked this too, short and consice, with original images.

"Spidering under the doorframe"

particularly liked that line!

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