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Array ( [sid] => 93918 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Sweet Suicide [time] => 2005-05-10 14:34:43 [hometext] => One of my older poems so its not too good. Its pretty self explanatory....all comments welcome! [bodytext] => If I died tomorrow would you care at all
If I slit my wrists or took a fall
I want you to know just how I feel
Or the pain inside will never heal

I've told you before but you chose not to hear
I can't go on living without you near
Your callous words tear me apart
But you still possess my heart

I hate myself for loving you
And all the spiteful things you do
But when I see you on the street
I feel so cold yet incomplete

How I feel, you'll never know
I just could never let it show
Without you I can live no more
All this pain I cant endure

And while my love remains untold
A life that lacks in hope unfolds
Perhaps my death would be for best
My tortured soul be laid to rest

You go on and live your life
While I reach out for the sharpest knife
One final cut against my vein
The sky turns black, theres no more pain [comments] => 7 [counter] => 252 [topic] => 36 [informant] => dark_descent [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

Sweet Suicide

Contributed by dark_descent on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 02:34:43 PM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

If I died tomorrow would you care at all
If I slit my wrists or took a fall
I want you to know just how I feel
Or the pain inside will never heal

I've told you before but you chose not to hear
I can't go on living without you near
Your callous words tear me apart
But you still possess my heart

I hate myself for loving you
And all the spiteful things you do
But when I see you on the street
I feel so cold yet incomplete

How I feel, you'll never know
I just could never let it show
Without you I can live no more
All this pain I cant endure

And while my love remains untold
A life that lacks in hope unfolds
Perhaps my death would be for best
My tortured soul be laid to rest

You go on and live your life
While I reach out for the sharpest knife
One final cut against my vein
The sky turns black, theres no more pain

Copyright Â© dark_descent ... [ 2005-05-10 14:34:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygirl1991 on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 02:47:30 PM AEST
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This poem was very good, some of my friends cna relate to this poem, thankyew for writing a piece like this , this was quite an experience to read thanks again keep writing~~Chrissy

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by poetrygirl1991 on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 02:47:48 PM AEST
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This poem was very good, some of my friends cna relate to this poem, thankyew for writing a piece like this , this was quite an experience to read thanks again keep writing~~Chrissy

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Aika on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 03:27:25 PM AEST
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JEEZ! Don´t you say it is not that good!
I can heart the sad song.. ... hope you are feeling better! Looking forward to reading you again!
Take care, love, Aika

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by EverlastingDawn on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 03:47:24 PM AEST
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Wow, such emotion spilled into such a short piece. The images are clear, and yet mystifying. This is a genuinely great poem. Great Write.

~Dawn

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by ForeverAlone on Tuesday, 10th May 2005 @ 05:13:04 PM AEST
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Another Amazing post by you, as always, but if you say this was not that good, then I would really like to see what your best is ;]..Great Job

~Clark

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Wednesday, 11th May 2005 @ 05:09:27 PM AEST
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Very good. The only part that deviated from the rhyme scheme was the last stanza, and that's ok, because it's kind of like a period, something to show that the poem's come to an end.
I like it.
Take care,
David

Re: Sweet Suicide (User Rating: 1 )
by death_not_be_feared on Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 08:40:14 PM AEST
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I can totally relate great write love it

~ Savannah

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