Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 12:53:10 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 93676 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Will I Ever Be Right? [time] => 2005-05-08 11:02:11 [hometext] => This one is sorta an older one [bodytext] => I'm drawn by all the signs of death,
Like I'm not alright,
Everyone already left,
Will I ever be right?

The seams of life are ripping apart,
Was I really meant to be here,
I'm being thrown like a dart,
Why can't I rid my fears.

I cannot shed tears of lost hopes,
For I am going further,
With the lost cause of never starting cope,
I know I can be stronger.

It just takes some times and truth,
To end the never ending battle,
Do I even know the meaning of truth,
When can I fill in the empty, lost whole of life? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 48 [informant] => orangemen566 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Will I Ever Be Right?

Contributed by orangemen566 on Sunday, 8th May 2005 @ 11:02:11 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

I'm drawn by all the signs of death,
Like I'm not alright,
Everyone already left,
Will I ever be right?

The seams of life are ripping apart,
Was I really meant to be here,
I'm being thrown like a dart,
Why can't I rid my fears.

I cannot shed tears of lost hopes,
For I am going further,
With the lost cause of never starting cope,
I know I can be stronger.

It just takes some times and truth,
To end the never ending battle,
Do I even know the meaning of truth,
When can I fill in the empty, lost whole of life?

Copyright © orangemen566 ... [ 2005-05-08 11:02:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: Will I Ever Be Right? (User Rating: 1 )
by dthwlkr on Monday, 16th May 2005 @ 12:19:14 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

well am gonna b a lil harsh here,gonna give u a gud critique

first stanza
paints the picture right,gives the right direction to the poem overall nice start

2nd stanza
what happened?????
the 1st stanza increases the readers expections,the 2nd one isnt up to that level and thats primarily because of the 3rd line "i'm being thrown around like a dart" seems like u put it in there just to make the lines rhyme,doesnt go well with the theme all that well though there is a definite correlation,try putting it in a different way

3rd stanza
gud real gud nicely put all in all pretty gud

4th stanza
confusions and contradictions thats wat i feel is the theme of the last para thats cauz where the first 2 lines show hope and desire to move on, the last 2 show self-pity

now as a reader i am pretty confused as to wat is the real theme of the poem because u have argued the cases of both hope and hopelessness nearly on the same scale, try giving a definite conclusion at the end or a clear choice to the reader to make up his own mind
i guess u cud have put in another line or 2
but still things have been put beautifully(no doubt) and i kinda really like the last line so overall i would give u 3.5 on 5 for this write

now dont get mad i gave a very honest review only because i feel this will help u write better and moreover since u say this is an older one u might have already come over these drawbacks.so dont lose heart
KEEP WRITING

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com