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Array
(
[sid] => 93261
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => LONGEST GAME OF CHARADES
[time] => 2005-05-04 12:18:47
[hometext] => THIS IS AN OLDER PIECE OF MY WORK WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION,POST TRAMATIC STRESS SYNDROME, AGORAPHOBIA, AND GENERALIZED ANXIETY BASICALLY ONE GIANT NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
[bodytext] => WHY DO I ALWAYS CRY WHY CAN'T I HAVE A HAPPY LIFE IT SEEMS AS IF I AM ALWAYS BLUE COULD YOU WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES WHEN I WAS YOUNGER THESE FEELINGS I COULD HIDE BUT NOW THE TEARS WILL NOT SUBSIDE I CRY FOR NO APPARANT REASON AT ALL I CURL UP IN MY BED AND JUST BAWL MY KIDS ASK ME TO GO TO THE PARK BUT INSTEAD I CLOSE MY EYES TO SLEEP AS IF IT WERE DARK SOMETIMES IN THE DARKEST PART OF MY HEAD I WILL WISH I WAS DEAD REALLY NO FRIENDS TO CALL MY OWN IN MY WORLD I'M ALL ALONE WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT NO ONE HAS YOUR BACK TRUST IS SOMETHING I DEFINATELY LACK THE MISERY AND PAIN ARE ALWAYS THERE THE PANIC AND DEPRESSION WON'T DISAPPEAR I HEAR ALL THE CONFLICT IN MY BRAIN I KNOW I'VE GONE INSANE I'M NOT STUPID I'M REALLY SMART I CAN SAY THE RIGHT THING WITHOUT BEARING MY HEART I CAN TELL YOU THE ANSWER YOU WANT TO HEAR JUST SO I CAN GET OUT OFF HERE I'VE LIED MY WAY THROUGH MOST OF MY LIFE HOW ARE YOU FEELING? I SAY ALRIGHT IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO MASCARADE I'VE BEEEN PLAYING THE LONGEST GAME OF CHARADES [comments] => 3 [counter] => 203 [topic] => 61 [informant] => mexicomama33 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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