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Array ( [sid] => 92991 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Passing Slowly [time] => 2005-05-01 22:22:15 [hometext] => Sitting in the room with the clock slowly ticking, taunting. I miss one of my great friends at school. 4-22-05 [bodytext] => Tick

My mind drifts to another place
My thoughts to another time.

Tock

Visions and memories invade my mind.
Emotion and heartache capture my soul.

Tick.

In havoc, I play, distracted.
In silence, I weep, depressed.

Tock.

Misery is now my comfort.
Coldness brings me warmth.

Tick. Tock.

Something is wrong.
Something is missing.
My thoughts turn to you.
And my heart breaks even further. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 177 [topic] => 61 [informant] => eatfresh22 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
Passing Slowly

Contributed by eatfresh22 on Sunday, 1st May 2005 @ 10:22:15 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles



Tick

My mind drifts to another place
My thoughts to another time.

Tock

Visions and memories invade my mind.
Emotion and heartache capture my soul.

Tick.

In havoc, I play, distracted.
In silence, I weep, depressed.

Tock.

Misery is now my comfort.
Coldness brings me warmth.

Tick. Tock.

Something is wrong.
Something is missing.
My thoughts turn to you.
And my heart breaks even further.




Copyright © eatfresh22 ... [ 2005-05-01 22:22:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 12:43:14 AM AEST
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this is wonderful.. ive always loved clock n' time poetry:) hugs n' love nessa

@->>->:-


Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 10:44:05 AM AEST
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an amazing write. i know how you feel, ive lost too many people i care about in such little time... in a way you are entitled to depression. i hope things get better for you,
luv n hugs,
jennie*


Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 02:59:03 PM AEST
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I pray he'll return to his old self, Carrie.
I wish I knew the words to say.
Take care.
David


Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 04:14:58 PM AEST
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Nice write. You could feel the emotion of well chosen words. Thank you for sharing.

Whisper


Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on Thursday, 16th June 2005 @ 05:50:36 PM AEST
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INCREDIBLY well crafted, Carrie, my love!
This is astounding!

Bravo on this great poem.
Hope life deals you some happier cards soon.

Love and peace,

Chelsea
(who is writing you a book which should be in the mail by Saturday the 18th at the latest)


Re: Passing Slowly (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Monday, 22nd August 2005 @ 05:53:26 PM AEST
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*shocked that self didn't comment before, and also that he lived to correct his mistake*

Well worded, quite. The clock-sounds are unique.

I did think 'depressed' might be better replaced by a stronger word, 'distressed' was the one that popped into my cranium. The former word is just too often heard these days to really punch the reader, if y'ken what I mean.

Write more, hear?

Anndra




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