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Array
(
[sid] => 92888
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => 20 years from now I will go swimming
[time] => 2005-05-01 03:30:07
[hometext] => you may not understand this if you don't know me, I've grown up in the mountains, read up on american indians and their lifestyles combined with a PROFOUND UNDERSTANDING
[bodytext] => 20 years from now I will go swimming…. The light and the shadow worked together to create sweet harmony, and who was I to disrupt it? For I myself am a half shadow enigma free spirit lover, or am I just a thought wanderer that has no place in this hell hole society pit. The days winds set in motion the feelings that led me to the fall. I loved every free second of it, but slapped down hard and felt the coldness caress. That eternal breathe, and the blurry depths of that unknown world….. Everything seems a little darker under water anyways. She left me just before the plummet, and then her spirit flew too, that the reason behind the madness, freefalling in loving memory of the one loved beyond my dawning comprehensions. Mere seconds of self induced pleasure, and it was legal. Roaring rush and then the silent hush after the crash that overloaded my depleted sensors. Developing the necessary instincts over time I was able to over come the hurdles that were mine from those that I had passed in the past, and at last I found the answers in conditioning and understanding….. I know “whatever that means…” right? Names and images and moments that I could relate to, things that go quickly through the mind without having to admit to, and then the realizations that I would have to, or otherwise be considered just another one of those full of arrogance all about you. Flashes of color intimidated my strength so that I would relocate my present thoughts in order to overcome the sharp pains of that instant reality. Moving seemingly wildly only to me, to you just another lap around the pool. I drained my contemplations in those clear waters for all to see but none to grasp…. So that yet again I could be misunderstood and have an excuse. One to hike those mountains, maintain and sustain that solitaire that Is so desperately needed when I think on all those things, those things that got behind my ears over the years leaving me displeased with my friends and my life in there hands even though none but me were to blame, and no matter what any way I went it seemed it would end the same. With me jumping for that release, and no others around to see me ease, just that little bit that I need. A short walk from a 6 room self built house that no one knows about, my wife up the mountain seeing to the plants, two kids at home making their decisions, would it be what I see, or what they haven’t seen? I don’t know yet, its not up to me. Worked hard and sweated for what I have, separated and dissipated in the world of man, I escaped that pit only just before the moment when there would have been no turning back. Hot days, and the old ways gave me my inspirations, while the society we lived in led us to those desperations. Not until the world was different could I deal anymore, and since then I wouldn’t know….. I never went back. But I will. Beard to the ground, tanned, REAL clothes, wise eyes, a little apprehension, strong body and sound mind. So that I can take all that crap that the world thought I left behind. The light and the shadow allowed for me a nice time swimming while my family was left to their own devices, and in that swim I solved my vices….. I decided it was time to visit the rest of the world, and what will I see? The Loadeddragon [comments] => 2 [counter] => 145 [topic] => 71 [informant] => theloadeddragon [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => secrets )
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