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Contributed by
Ppaul
on
Thursday, 28th April 2005 @ 09:15:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
Midnight comes and goes I think I can’t sleep the lights to bright for my eyes I’m paralyzed its got me paralyzed blinded by the light I want to sleep I need to sleep but the lights to bright The wall must hold I am myself I am myself I’m in a vice the wall must hold squeezing squeezing the wall must hold I am myself reality what’s reality it bends the smiley people are leaning out from the box arms extended holding out handfuls of the shiny black insects with the sabre smiles tempting me to defy my eyes I’m wide awake this is not a dream the wall must hold I am myself but they are attacking my mind crawling over my skull looking for a way in the wall must hold I am myself I resist sending out waves of my personality to drive them back they watch from the others side of the room I close my eyes no surprise I cant break free it makes no difference your etched into the lids of my eyes I’m paralyzed the shiny black insects with the sabre smiles wait the smiley people on the box wait the wall must hold I am my self anger will sustain me Damn you I’ll pick you up and throw you out of the window and smash you into a million pieces But I can’t move my arms what window? Is that air I’m breathing? I am weak I need to sleep I’m paralyzed I want to get up and turn you of but your on the other side of the room staring down at me the eye of the beast where are my arms why cant I move my neck keep away from my brain you smiley people stay back you shiny insects with sabre smiles I can’t take it this supposed to cure me I’m going insane the wall must hold I am myself all I can see are white walls white light Mary Jane Mary Jane Mary Jane get your pretty ass in her take this gag of I want to scream why can’t it be night someone turn out the light Mary Jane turn out the light I’m scared I’m running oh God I’m running you’ve abandoned me just like my Mother I was a fool to trust you led me here and left me to die the snake concealed under a flower they used you to get me I see that now Get the hell away from my brain you shiny black insects with the sabre smiles stay back I’m running help damn you my mind is melting boiling melting imprisoned in the four wall inner space outer space there is no difference the pressure the wall must hold but the box is blazing blaring shiny smiley people judging shiny black beetles with the sabre smiles waiting ‘why aren’t you normal your so pathetic look how much better we are than your nothing you’re a waste of space why don’t you cut your wrists why don’t you’ I would but I can’t move my arms ‘no choice give in’ No No if I could just swallow my tongue please God let me swallow my tongue I’m paralyzed I cant take it I’m breaking why am I here Mary Jane Mary Jane white walls white light why cant I get one good night sterilizing acid burning me clean its to bright to bright if you don’t fit you get hammered into a more acceptable shape ‘you will be clean’ Mother I was never good enough for you was I Mother I was a burden to your midnight ways that’s why you left me at home with the babysitter now my jailer I tried to get away from the ties that ounce again bind and improve my mind but the ghost from my childhood has returned I’ve found the brain police this is hell white burning blinding searing hell the box blazes on if I could just close my eyes and die this is hell the box watches the shiny black insects with the sabre smiles wait I cant take it I’m sorry I thought so much I’m sorry I read those books I’m sorry I brought that album I give up No Yes No I am myself I don’t want to be me right now ‘you will change’ No ‘you are ours give in and the pain will stop the doubt the confusion the sadness the depression will melt away there are warm arms attached these smiley faces the wall the wall I want to be loved there in my brain Mary Jane Mum I want to be loved Walls made of sand fall into the sea shiny black beetles with the sabre smiles I welcome you now twist me to your designs I don’t want to hurt any more I just want to be loved I just want to sleeps sleep I love you ‘we love you to 2+2=5’ whatever you want I’m free oblivion is peace
Copyright ©
Ppaul
... [
2005-04-28 09:15:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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