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Array
(
[sid] => 92225
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I can't take it anymore
[time] => 2005-04-25 14:59:35
[hometext] => I was feeling very mad.. at ........everything..... the world how it works... And so I just wrote a poem... Comment if you like....
[bodytext] => I can’t take it anymore I refuse! You can’t make me I have fought my last battle And threw up the white flag. I give in Society YOU WIN. I’m tired of hiding my frown I’m tired of pretending I’m somebody else I’m tired of the good side of me There is more to it Than just my smile More to it Than just my pleasant words I have hidden myself for so long I don’t know who I am anymore I used to If you were to ask me I would have said Haley N. Fun, energetic girl… who planned to save the world. V. fearless.. and unbeatable. Now… I afraid I lost myself Along the long bumpy road I have traveled.. Maybe I lost myself in Georgia Or perhaps Missouri? I feel like pieces of me are missing They have fallen into the ground And are now buried with Yesterday’s passion Along with the real me. I don’t know anything anymore Things just got so out of control My mind has lost the power To feel To think My heart is slowing down My brain is busting I can’t stand to look at myself anymore I more I do The less I see I’m fading I’m surrendering Like the sun Into the colors of beauty Or the eternal colors of Hell? I have no real reason For anything I can’t reach out to anybody Can’t say what I should Can’t be what I am How did this happen? I always promised myself it wouldn’t I swore That I wouldn’t end up like that kid on TV. I was supposed to be special Different from everyone I was supposed to change the world To make people see The truth I used to brighten up everyone’s day With my gracious smile And interesting opinions The world looked different then There was more sun More life And then BOOM Everything turned down hill My eyes lost their glow My hands turned sore My thoughts turned bad And now I’m just like everybody else No real purpose No real destiny Just trying to get through the day Just trying to survive Now I blend in with the crowd Matching everyone around My worst nightmare has turned to reality I am no longer me But what society makes of me I have no choice over anything I care too much about what People think I’m now afraid to stand up for what is right Against my better judgment Against fourteen years of lecturing How not to fall for the crowd How to be strong And keep my head high I went all of this way Just so I could fall apart Just so I could turn cold Just like everyone else Life is suppose to be full of wonder Or that is at least what they taught me in Sunday school Life is happy As long as you obey the bible And listen your heart I now that is just a bunch of bull***** There are no rules At least that none anybody follows Everybody wants what they can’t have And destroy each other to achieve what isn’t theirs And there are no guidelines At least none I know of, I wish somebody had handed me the manual. Or at least have tried to make one up. But the scary thing is I don’t think my heart is right anymore I don’t think it is mine How could it? It has thoughts of its own And holds the deepest of secrets. I have nowhere left to turn I have tried going right Left Straight And even backwards Each road leads to a dead end Expect the road I’m about to take The only way out Is through hell itself. I will go through the fire And blazing heat Down the stairs of no end And face the bastard himself If only just to ask, Why he gets joy, In turning me, Into everybody else I will look him in the eye Until I get an explanation But, even I know It’s unknown I will never know why Or how? Only that it did happen. But, it doesn’t matter Because I’m not burning my soul Or my flesh My mind Or even my heart I’m burning the “society me”. And to rebirth the old me It is the only way, The only way To set myself free And finally be one with my dreams And will be forever united with the real me. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Brandyx7 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 3 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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