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Array ( [sid] => 92097 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I Have Lived In Fear [time] => 2005-04-24 10:59:07 [hometext] => But I have been able to let it go... for now at least.. [bodytext] => Yes I have lived in fear,
Sat alone & cried many tears,
Begged depression to let my go,
Felt death creep up nice & slow.

I lived so long in the past,
Over my soul darkness had been cast,
Choking me not allowing me to breath,
But I think last week I felt it leave.

My medication keeps it at bay,
I know it will never really go away,
It’s as if depression is sleeping,
If I listen hard I can hear it weeping.

It has no control over me anymore,
I feel my smile right down in my core,
I won’t give in not now & not ever,
Although it had me at the end of my tether.

It nearly tore me limb from limb,
I almost made love with the reaper grim,
He was so close to making me his wife,
I was almost tempted to take hold of his knife.

[comments] => 7 [counter] => 198 [topic] => 61 [informant] => pixie [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

I Have Lived In Fear

Contributed by pixie on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 10:59:07 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Yes I have lived in fear,
Sat alone & cried many tears,
Begged depression to let my go,
Felt death creep up nice & slow.

I lived so long in the past,
Over my soul darkness had been cast,
Choking me not allowing me to breath,
But I think last week I felt it leave.

My medication keeps it at bay,
I know it will never really go away,
It’s as if depression is sleeping,
If I listen hard I can hear it weeping.

It has no control over me anymore,
I feel my smile right down in my core,
I won’t give in not now & not ever,
Although it had me at the end of my tether.

It nearly tore me limb from limb,
I almost made love with the reaper grim,
He was so close to making me his wife,
I was almost tempted to take hold of his knife.

Copyright Â© pixie ... [ 2005-04-24 10:59:07]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 12:01:02 PM AEST
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This is a very good poem, I can relate to it, I was hurt by a particular girl and yes it does hurt like hell, it so hard to get over it, sometimes it comes back, feels like a bunch of knives in my heart, unbareable pain, a good write.

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by sride686 on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 12:08:20 PM AEST
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Damn the ending on your poem was so powerful. This is a awesome write and the first of yours I’ve read. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you for your heart and soul on this paper….Steve

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by kitty_express2001 on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 01:19:51 PM AEST
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that was such a good poem!!

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by B-Randy on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 01:44:36 PM AEST
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Sad poem. I know what your saying though. My mom has bi-polar disorder and it left bruises in both her life and mine. We use to live in fear, but luckly for us, things did get better. You just have to let go of the past, you can't change it, and embrace the future. The future contains hope an opportunity for a new life without the fear. It's still not easy for us, but atleast we try.

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on Sunday, 24th April 2005 @ 02:07:52 PM AEST
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You always write with such strong emotion...
a very well written work here my friend
Roses
Larry

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by smiley_jennyxoxo on Tuesday, 26th April 2005 @ 06:10:23 PM AEST
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That's such a great poem! I can relate to that, and your emotions. I've felt it before. Jenny

Re: I Have Lived In Fear (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Monday, 6th June 2005 @ 12:07:49 PM AEST
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Wow Pix...This is excellent. I can relate to a lot of this so well. I don't know who voted this a 3, but they're crazy!! The last stanza is so strong...Well done indeed.
Scorp.

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