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Array
(
[sid] => 91974
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => drifting away . . .
[time] => 2005-04-23 10:36:41
[hometext] => after all the stuff ive done,i thought my friends would stand by me,its true they did for a while,but when they turned round and said,their mums said they need to drift away from me,i realised its me who should be drifting away...please comment
[bodytext] => the other day i did it again breathed out a sigh a pleasure passed through my body it was almost addictive i was addicted to this sin every inch in my body raptured with pleasure i cried out inside my hand grasped tightly it was too much finally the heat resolved and my body recovered from its minutes of orgasims i loved every second of it i knew almost everything and only 14,it was like a lesson i knew all the answers to and extra credit he looked at me and kissed me i didnt care i just wanted the rush i dont love him i want his body so i can have me release all for a price he was not only my boyfriend but my best friends brother i didnt tell her much he told her every detail down to the last gasp of pleasure she knew more than he told me she didnt look at me the same she said she wouldnt look at me differently but she did every time she looked at me i knew what she was thinking s l a g , s l u t , w h o r e , b i t c h , u s e r , a b u s e d she said i was messed up something was wrong of course there's something ***** wrong im having sex at fourteen im messed up even i know that ive always been a s l a g and s l u t my daddy use to tell me every time that alcohol passed his lips i was always called a b i t c h he said i was just like HER ( my mum of course ) i was a s l a g and i was also a s l u t but i cant blame my actions on him im the one sucking the poison im the one enjoying the pain i dont want love i want one thing only dont kiss me slowly get right down to the core i dont do nice im way past that cue im dirty and sluttish im a master of being bad my friends all know it even when they hide their glare i can see it deep inside flaring up when i talk then one day i ask her to stay my best friend she is every thing to me she kept me sane through all the rugh patches in my life ( i know you'll never read this,but thank you,im sorry ) she said she cant stay her mum said drift away these exact words ' shes going through alot right now,yes shes a lovely girl,but please dear,drift away,you could get a name for yourself,just because of her ' i cried and cried in the silence on my own in the dead of night my heart drifted more darkened and the poison ran deeper i might aswell carry on ive lost everything even having IT doesnt seem the same its just sex no love i hate what i have driven myself to do i hate why i like it i hate that i do it ...then why cant i stop? i want to drift away im leaving my old life and im going to run away never to come back im drifting away.... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 193 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Hannah_Heaven [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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