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Point of No Return

Contributed by Jaycee on Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 11:37:13 AM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



Parked on the ledge
overlooking I-95
Knowing that eighty foot drop
will end my being alive

Wasn't always this way
Was happy as a lark
when I was young
Even 'fraid of the dark

Moved into my teen years
saw so many on drugs
That was no answer
I preferred many hugs

High school was bearable
Applied myself to my studies
Not the most popular
Had one or two buddies

This about adulthood:
worse than adolescence
I became invisible
No palpable presence

The workplace was complex
There were so many rules
I didn't fit in
With the circus of fools

But I was so different
I felt like a guest
In a sea of humanity
I was scorned by the rest

Practiced with swords I did
and the occasional knife
It was a poor substitute
This semblance of life

But then I did meet her
she was such a godsend
Smart, kind and so pretty
One problem: Boyfriend

Stop me it did not
I wanted her so much
Would have done anything
For soft caress or touch

Failed miserably I did
For two months I cried
That was the first time
that part of me died

Six months later
the leaves they did fall
Inspired by their deaths
I thought of ending it all

Lived near a transformer
electricity's unforgiving
It'd be the perfect way
for me to stop living

They say it takes courage
to live, not to die
But to this day
I think it's a lie

I met this woman
who'd soon be my wife
Finally happy
With my crazy life

When the honeymoon ended
my swords disappeared
Was I losing my freedom
It was this that I feared

Then came my son
who was born autistic
My wife was abusive
She could go so ballistic

Eight years it's all over
the marriage is done
Looking back at it all
What was missing was fun

No one would date me
I was so obviously old
In the hight heat of summer
my heart had grown cold

Work had gone brutal
I quickly burned out
There'd never been a life
before; there was no doubt

Years had gone by
since life had been fun
From my numb life
I needed to run

Life changed me too much
that I finally did learn
Stepping away from the ledge
To my old life, I could never return




Copyright © Jaycee ... [ 2005-04-20 11:37:13]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: Point of No Return (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 01:53:50 PM AEST
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heart on your sleeve wtih this one Its heartbreaking and powerful at same time you have come through alot in life
Michelle


Re: Point of No Return (User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on Wednesday, 20th April 2005 @ 08:27:52 PM AEST
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wow... i think one of your best. its a very honest write and i respect that... honesty. sometimes our mistakes are hard to accept but u come clean with such emotion... im impressed... as i am after reading any of your poems. great job!
jennie


Re: Point of No Return (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 21st April 2005 @ 12:38:41 AM AEST
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JAYCEE!!!!! This is amazing!! What a beautiful, well written apoem . You really did some soul searching on this . Very honest and touching. I feel you and can relate

Leia


Re: Point of No Return (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Friday, 13th May 2005 @ 12:34:34 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Heart breaking!!
We can never return to our old lives..but we can always start anew.....
Hugs
Jenni_K




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