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Array ( [sid] => 91180 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => In The Land Of Next [time] => 2005-04-16 14:19:19 [hometext] => The title came to me first - and the poem was built backwards from there. [bodytext] => Before -
I was an island,
Independence,
rich in dirt,
wind, time, and waves.

Compact and efficient,
goals got set and met.
I had all that I wanted then.

The fronds were there to hold me,
schools of silver to swim,
air to breathe deep,
and fire,
there was always fire,
white-hot fire within.

Now -
I’m a shaky boat,
Apprehension,
low on mirth, I’ve
thinned my days.

Slack and without witness,
I drone and drone again.
I had all that I wanted then.

The trees say goodbye to me,
my skin tans and turns,
destiny dances the horizon,
but water,
there is so much water,
that threatens the expanse.

Next-
I’ll come to shore,
Satisfaction,
let worth
begin, resign and be saved.

In brass and silent fondness,
my life unfolds at long last.
(I’ll have all that I wanted then.)

Raindrops cleanse the mystery,
clouds part and pass,
someone finally knows,
that land,
fertile land,
sustains all things that grow.
[comments] => 4 [counter] => 218 [topic] => 61 [informant] => girltranscended [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 17 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

In The Land Of Next

Contributed by girltranscended on Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 02:19:19 PM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

Before -
I was an island,
Independence,
rich in dirt,
wind, time, and waves.

Compact and efficient,
goals got set and met.
I had all that I wanted then.

The fronds were there to hold me,
schools of silver to swim,
air to breathe deep,
and fire,
there was always fire,
white-hot fire within.

Now -
I’m a shaky boat,
Apprehension,
low on mirth, I’ve
thinned my days.

Slack and without witness,
I drone and drone again.
I had all that I wanted then.

The trees say goodbye to me,
my skin tans and turns,
destiny dances the horizon,
but water,
there is so much water,
that threatens the expanse.

Next-
I’ll come to shore,
Satisfaction,
let worth
begin, resign and be saved.

In brass and silent fondness,
my life unfolds at long last.
(I’ll have all that I wanted then.)

Raindrops cleanse the mystery,
clouds part and pass,
someone finally knows,
that land,
fertile land,
sustains all things that grow.

Copyright Â© girltranscended ... [ 2005-04-16 14:19:19]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: In The Land Of Next (User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on Saturday, 16th April 2005 @ 06:15:48 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I appreciated the journey of this poem; how you began with having everything you wanted and how now, you've lost what you had. I think the poem could have easily ended there, but in the "Next" stanza, you sustain a feeling of hope inspite of your adversity, and you realized that this is what you needed to experience in order to grow. This is an important insight. With that outlook, you will be able to confront all of your struggles with an open embrace, which will allow you to grow into the person you can become

Be True,
zenmind

Re: In The Land Of Next (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 09:44:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I especially love the way you combine nature into your stuggle/ inner search.
You do that well. The two wrap around each each other, grow, become one within your write.
Nicely done!

Re: In The Land Of Next (User Rating: 1 )
by MorningDove on Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 11:32:18 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I see the beginning of life here and all was good. Then I see change that is frightening. Next I see solidarity within yourself. But at all times, even the shaky part, you had all you wanted. Please let me know if I am wrong. As I have been known to be. LOL

Rita

Re: In The Land Of Next (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Thursday, 10th August 2006 @ 09:27:44 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

You've got a pretty good turn of phrase yourself, and some masterful imagery. Well done. A lovely message of growth and maturation.

Spike

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