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Array
(
[sid] => 90590
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => my life
[time] => 2005-04-11 01:48:23
[hometext] => wrote this quite a while ago but just found it again...comments appreciated
[bodytext] => She was always such a happy kid. Now all the happiness is gone inside. She doesn’t tell her friends about what she did Because all she wants to do is hide. She feels like she can’t go on She feels so depressed Look at the smile she puts on She says “it’s just because I’m stressed. I have so much going on right now It’s really kind of crazy I look like a cow And I’m so lazy Everyone says I’m such a freak And I’m starting to agree People joke that I’m a geek Some days I just want them to leave me be. I joke with them too To try and hide that it hurts deep down How am I gunna make it through? I wish I could flip my frown upside down. People don’t see all the marks That they leave when they make fun of me. All their mean remarks If only they would see. No one seems to notice it It’s like they don’t even care Some days I just want to quit But I know some ones always gunna be there. I’ll just put all my faith in God Instead of in my friends Then I won’t feel so odd Cuz with them it never seems to end. Maybe I’ll just give up Maybe it’s meant to be I feel like I could blow up They say I look like a tree. Do you ever feel empty inside? When you’re hurting and afraid? I feel like that all the time It never seems to fade. I try to tell some people But they seem to think I’m joking They think it is so simple But it’s like I’m really choking. I wish I had someone to listen to me Someone that I could trust Someone who wouldn’t treat me differently Won’t look at me in disgust. I just want the feeling to go away I don’t wanna be afraid “Tomorrow will be a better day” But my pain still doesn’t seem to fade Some people pretend to know What its like to be in my shoes Don’t just say, “Go with the flow” Because we have very different views. Finally I found someone who understands We get along so well She has the same marks on her hands But she got up after she fell. She doesn’t think I’m dumb Or think that I’m different. I’m trying not to succumb She’s behind me 100% It’s so great to have someone care She is so forgiving It makes the feelings easier to bear Without her I might not be living. I think it was meant to be That we found each other I think we both see That we need one another. It seems the deeper you go The less pain there will be I can’t seem to say no I just want to be free. I got to keep holding on I can’t give up now The good days will eventually dawn But right now I can’t see how. I just got to keep holding on I’ve got to, I’ve got to!! I really don’t want to be gone But I need help from you….. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 155 [topic] => 61 [informant] => brokengirl [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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