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Array
(
[sid] => 89780
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Should I Slit My Wrists?
[time] => 2005-04-03 21:16:47
[hometext] => I wrote this a really long time ago about some donkey I thought I loved, but I found someone much better and I don't feel this way anymore.
[bodytext] => I just want to get out I need you to disappear I need out of this place Before I hurt myself again There's no other way out You got my spinning round and round You tied my up so tight that I'd never leave And that rope is just too strong for me I've cut it with scissors and everything I could find It wouldn't break no matter how hard I tried Does that mean anything to you? Do you care that I'm stuck and there's no escape That I was wrapped up in your touch And you kisses that were oh so sweet? I need you gone for I can't cut the ties That are holding me back and bringing the knife closer It looks so sharp and ready to slice Anything like it was butter Glistening and calling to me but no! I can't, I won't... I shouldn't... but maybe... All this pain would end And I'd deal with you no more And all these stupid people Would just be out of my face With the droplets of blood Shining bright red on my floor Looking like my door out But it is way too small, I need more red I'll keep on slicing til that puddle grows Slashing my wrists is like cutting that rope But you can't be tied if you have no life for it to bind to I don't want to be here I don't want to see your face again Or feel your touch for all I care I need to be gone It isn't right for me to have to live like this They say I have a choice, that I can make it better But to all this I've said bull****, who the hell are you? It's all your fault and I'm not ashamed to say so For I wouldn't feel tied if it wasn't for you The knife wouldn't shine The rope would never have been I wouldn't long for drops of red making a doorway If it wasn't for you I was like this before you came into my life I wanted a break but you swept me off my feet And gradually it all got better I smiled more and I cried less I put that knife away in my drawer So I never had to look upon it's stained red blade But then you were gone and I had no choice I had no need to revert to anything else I pulled that knife out and it's laying on my bed What good is talking when no one seems to listen When that is all I really yearn for I'm but a small voice in your hectic world And when you give me the chance to spill It's like you wish you didn't have to hear me out That I would just go away and be gone And that's where I got the idea That I would not be missed Because if you don't care, why should I? All I did was love you more than I loved myself I'd have given you everything and this I thought you knew If you don't care about me then I have no reason to breathe But you might care even though you act so cold Because if you ever felt the way I feel for you You couldn't push me aside so quick and easy like you did All I'm asking is for someone to listen I need to rant and rave I'm scared more than I have ever been before I just don't know what to do About you, about me, about all this **** It's all coming down on me way too hard I'm not strong enough to hold it by myself I thought you would always be there to help me carry this burden But I guess you won't and I don't want to live like that Without a soul who really cares You took the time to know me Or saw right through my lies Because you know me more than I ever thought any guy would I can't get past you no matter how hard I try And I really need a guy like you Who just takes the time for me I know I complain, I know I'm not perfect But I'll try to stop the ******** and no one ever is I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me everything's okay But I feel I'll never get it by the way you act to me This is hard for anyone to handle and I'm not as burly as most I'm young and I'm weak and I can't do it all alone Can you help me? That's all I want to know Do you really care about me Enough to save my life? I need you more than ever baby It's my life at stake I'm holding that knife and gazing All I had was you Nobody else cared to find the true me But you did and I love you for it Although you put me through all this I guess I really want to know if you still love me Like I thought you always would And if you love me that much Should I slit my wrists? [comments] => 1 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 72 [informant] => FearMyRawr [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => self-harmpoetry )
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