|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Array
(
[sid] => 89741
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Spinning top
[time] => 2005-04-03 09:40:32
[hometext] => This is a bit of a challenge for me. I wanted to write a poem not about me. Heh. Doesn't sound like much of a challenge to some but it is.. There are still some bits of me in this though. I kinda failed.
[bodytext] => I can still see the pictures in my mind,
The way your hair flew as you spun,
(It was almost like feathers,
Were floating upon the wind.)
The way your eyes twinkled, with glee,
As you made yourself dizzy,
Over and over again.
How sometimes,
I thought you would probably spin away,
Find yourself spun to the end of the world,
All of a sudden.
And it looked like you could almost fly,
The breeze following your steps,
(So you could almost float,
Yourself)
And you never really did care when you fell over.
It was all part of the fun, part of the game.
To you it was the best part....
That part where you would laugh;
Laugh like there was nothing wrong in your life.
(You always seemed so brave,
Though there would be tears standing in your eyes.)
(You were a child again)
And even when you got hurt,
You would just stand up and start again,
Seeming without a care in the world..
(Even when the world was leaning down on you)
Then you would just dance and twirl your woes away,
Escape, just for a little while,
Into a blurred world of dizziness and giggles,
Until that time came again,
When the world wasn't full of colours,
And the spinning top stopped...
[comments] => 13
[counter] => 249
[topic] => 30
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 33
[ratings] => 7
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => PoemsonBeauty
)
Spinning top
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 09:40:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
PoemsonBeauty
|
I can still see the pictures in my mind,
The way your hair flew as you spun,
(It was almost like feathers,
Were floating upon the wind.)
The way your eyes twinkled, with glee,
As you made yourself dizzy,
Over and over again.
How sometimes,
I thought you would probably spin away,
Find yourself spun to the end of the world,
All of a sudden.
And it looked like you could almost fly,
The breeze following your steps,
(So you could almost float,
Yourself)
And you never really did care when you fell over.
It was all part of the fun, part of the game.
To you it was the best part....
That part where you would laugh;
Laugh like there was nothing wrong in your life.
(You always seemed so brave,
Though there would be tears standing in your eyes.)
(You were a child again)
And even when you got hurt,
You would just stand up and start again,
Seeming without a care in the world..
(Even when the world was leaning down on you)
Then you would just dance and twirl your woes away,
Escape, just for a little while,
Into a blurred world of dizziness and giggles,
Until that time came again,
When the world wasn't full of colours,
And the spinning top stopped...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-04-03 09:40:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 10:03:26 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
that was so perfectly written. wow it reached into my chest and touched my heart, loved it Philly *hugs*
pix xx |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 11:04:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Lovely write...no failure here whatsoever......
Good write
Hugs
Jenni |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 12:03:03 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Well done , a joy to read |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 12:29:12 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
No one can write and NOT put a little of themselves into the words. I think you did an amazing job with this one.
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 01:11:08 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I don't think the topic is wrong. It is well-categorized, in my view.
I like this free verse. You are good at it. |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 01:20:03 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
You know... I was just thinking on this earlier today --- I think (know) that poets embed themselves in the write whether or not they know they're doing it. I wouldn't be surprised if you come back to this later and find that you included more of yourself than you originally thought. I... see you here, Philly.
And Neptune's right... the category is quite appropriate.
This is, and you are, lovely,
~Snemmy~ |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 02:02:32 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Tears aren't rolling down my face but i'm crying in my heart 4 this one, u touched me
phill with this one, this ain't brilliant this is human, and echoing with the voice of love
from my child hood ********** (((((PMT))))))
Dorian Chambers |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 04:01:23 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh i liked that Phil, the poem works with the subject you put it in.
I thought this was really written perfectly, you're poetic talents has risen to a new level.
Which im really excited about.
Good write as always,
Jane |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by mina-1 on
Sunday, 3rd April 2005 @ 07:57:01 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
A wonderfully written poem Phil. Captured and set with brillance nothing short to what I expect of you. A truly excellent write. Well done.
Hugs,
Sue |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 03:42:41 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Well done Phil great work 5/5 bernard. |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 11:51:46 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Gosh Phil!
This is beautiful!
It's nastolgic, and sad, yet somehow brings a smile to my face.
Also sorry to say (not really) but I see you all over and through this piece...and it's awsome!!! |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 8th April 2005 @ 05:25:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Incredible expression. This is deeply meaningful. I think you did very well. The piece is still personal, but is entirely about the other person. It is an observatory poem.
Lovely piece.
Andrew |
|
|
Re: Spinning top
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 10th March 2009 @ 12:04:07 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, so exquisite!!! And it had a soft gentle feel to it. This poem is like a beautiful smile and it kept me smiling all throughout.
|
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
