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Array ( [sid] => 89630 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Upon This Tree [time] => 2005-04-02 01:58:06 [hometext] => This poem symbolizes a lot to me. The girl up in the tree looking down to someone who is asleep is ment to be metaphorical for someone who longs for something that is out of reach and so far away to see that she exists. [bodytext] => I watch you sleep
as I weep
from this tree
you don't see
you just breathe
in this silent night
there is no light
yet I see you well
and I can tell
that in your dreams
although it seems
that perfect place
in where you waste
could be with me
and I'm the key
you are so blind
and I'm out of mind
still far from reach
no part of speech
can break this trance
but I pray the chance
for you to wake
to ease this ache
and look outside
out to this tree in that I hide

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 167 [topic] => 33 [informant] => tinkerhell [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 12 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SecretLove )

Upon This Tree

Contributed by tinkerhell on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 01:58:06 AM in AEST
Topic: SecretLove

I watch you sleep
as I weep
from this tree
you don't see
you just breathe
in this silent night
there is no light
yet I see you well
and I can tell
that in your dreams
although it seems
that perfect place
in where you waste
could be with me
and I'm the key
you are so blind
and I'm out of mind
still far from reach
no part of speech
can break this trance
but I pray the chance
for you to wake
to ease this ache
and look outside
out to this tree in that I hide

Copyright © tinkerhell ... [ 2005-04-02 01:58:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Upon This Tree (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 08:17:43 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Hmm, I like this. The start seems a little forced, but it lossens up toward the end.
You have a good flow and a good rhyme here.
An unusual write,
Phil

Re: Upon This Tree (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 09:14:34 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The starting of the poem does have some forced ryhming but i still think it worked.
So long you know what this poem means then im happy.

I liked it it's a wonderful poem hope to see you post more.

Jane

Re: Upon This Tree (User Rating: 1 )
by mylady on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 11:17:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like it ..If only the little girl would not hide.
maybe you would stop weeping i hope i read right... it nice.

Re: Upon This Tree (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 12:12:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I love the symbolism in this..it is refreshingly good...
Keep writing..
Jenni

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