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(
[sid] => 89009
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A Poet's Kiss
[time] => 2005-03-27 22:16:31
[hometext] => I wanted to sound like I was rhyming without actually doing so ... this was a personal challenge
[bodytext] => ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me, do you remember
Our very first shared kiss
The moment lasted forever
And lingered on my lips
The taste of you existed
For days within my mind
I’m amazed how often I recall
And go back to that time
An awkward chance encounter
We both had missed a plane
In a crowded airport coffee shop
I swore you spoke my name
I stepped up to your table
Hunting words that just weren’t there
Your eyes then bore right through me
Annoyance, not easily repaired
I turned away to take my leave
As I did my notebook fell
We both bent down to pick it up
At times I still can feel that welt
Sitting back to clear our heads
A smile played across your eyes
You could have been no more attractive
In that instant had you tried
The words you saw intrigued you
And you asked if you could see
Perhaps destiny had played its hand
Fate meant for us to meet
As you gazed upon my musing
Your eyes dancing as they read
Lips moving slightly keeping time
Understanding, rampant ran
You questioned nearly every line
The inspiration not its meaning
Desire to see behind the words
I thought I must be dreaming
You asked if I could use some air
I followed you outside
We lit a smoke, danced through the rain
Too soon I realized
My next flight had just arrived
It would be leaving soon
I pulled you close within my arms
Now somber was the mood
And though I knew you wouldn’t have
I wish you’d have whispered “Stay…”
For from the moment our lips met
My heart with you remained
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[comments] => 23
[counter] => 411
[topic] => 14
[informant] => Nazmythian
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 55
[ratings] => 11
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => DreamsandWishes
)
A Poet's Kiss
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 10:16:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell me, do you remember
Our very first shared kiss
The moment lasted forever
And lingered on my lips
The taste of you existed
For days within my mind
I’m amazed how often I recall
And go back to that time
An awkward chance encounter
We both had missed a plane
In a crowded airport coffee shop
I swore you spoke my name
I stepped up to your table
Hunting words that just weren’t there
Your eyes then bore right through me
Annoyance, not easily repaired
I turned away to take my leave
As I did my notebook fell
We both bent down to pick it up
At times I still can feel that welt
Sitting back to clear our heads
A smile played across your eyes
You could have been no more attractive
In that instant had you tried
The words you saw intrigued you
And you asked if you could see
Perhaps destiny had played its hand
Fate meant for us to meet
As you gazed upon my musing
Your eyes dancing as they read
Lips moving slightly keeping time
Understanding, rampant ran
You questioned nearly every line
The inspiration not its meaning
Desire to see behind the words
I thought I must be dreaming
You asked if I could use some air
I followed you outside
We lit a smoke, danced through the rain
Too soon I realized
My next flight had just arrived
It would be leaving soon
I pulled you close within my arms
Now somber was the mood
And though I knew you wouldn’t have
I wish you’d have whispered “Stay…”
For from the moment our lips met
My heart with you remained
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-03-27 22:16:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by humboldthunny17 on
Sunday, 27th March 2005 @ 11:05:57 PM AEST
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Hey good job! U did rhyme w/o rhyming lol.
Luv!
Cebre |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Blu on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 12:00:01 AM AEST
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Very well done.
You certainly created a visual image and the rhyming wihout rhyming only supported that.
Very good write.
Blu |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 12:28:17 AM AEST
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| I applaud you, very well done. |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 12:39:31 AM AEST
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So... I have to ask --- do we (poets, I mean?) all dream the same? Because this is rather exactly what I would wish for. And if the wish, the dream ever came true, dear Nazzy... you'd have to pry me from it with a crowbar *sigh*.
When I read your A/N and started the read, I was intending to come here and babble on about how imperfect rhyme is rhyme by definition and how no one, I'm certain, could argue that perfect rhyme (or any other sort for that matter) would have been any better here. (Personally, I like this more because it isn't perfect rhyme.) This is, quite simply, beautiful, flowing, wonderful poetry... and commenting on it in any technical way (though I sort of did, i guess) seems entirely moot now. I have fallen into it, I confess... and somewhere in the middle of the exquisite encounter I stopped caring entirely about anything but the dream. And that - THAT - is as good as it gets.
Carried (utterly, completely, entirely) away,
~Snemmy~
(who edited her comment at least a dozen times because she was soooooo wonderfully swept away by this that she could hardly type and who still doesn't think she's clearly stated how very much she loved this piece)
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by xtcslilangel on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 02:37:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
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You did a wonderful job. Great poem!
xoxo
Kayla |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 06:14:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Scott this was just magical, it was just beautiful and the total outcome of the song was just brilliant.
I love this a lot.
Jane |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 06:48:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was so lovely, soft and perfect.
Everyone I think wants to experience moments like that. It is something we store in our memories as special times.
Now I ponder how many lives would have taken on a different direction if we only had the nerve to whisper "stay".
Remarkable and gorgeous would be my description of this poem.
Kie |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:01:08 AM AEST
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a Message)
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"Tell me, do you remember
Our very first shared kiss
The moment lasted forever
And lingered on my lips
The taste of you existed
For days within my mind
I’m amazed how often I recall
And go back to that time"
There is only ever one chance at a first kiss... and it, to me is always the best. I liked this one. It was sweet. |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:21:54 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow Nazzy...
Gosh, I dunno what to say to this one.. Snemmy seems to have said everything I wanted to.
This is stunning... And what a dream! lol.
This is something a person could easily fall into.
Great write hun,
Phil |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 08:58:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| that poem is exceptionaly written! i oved it, the rhyming the words, the moment you clearly display. amazing. |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by eyesxcriedxout1989 on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:23:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This was really good...very well written and I could see every image you wrote. It reminded me of a movie, a romantic comedy maybe, but it was a good movie. Definitly very good
Mason |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 02:54:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
NAZ!!!!
Welcome back to the romantic side!!
The rhyming aside(which worked quite well by the way), its the essence of this piece that grabs me. More than just the excitement of a first kiss, a chance encounter, the idea of our poetry stirring someone...its that whole dreamy scenerio of boy meets girl and heart strings sound...wonderful, wonderful job buddy!!! |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 04:10:21 PM AEST
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Naz,
I would echo others, and say you accomplished your goal. It is quite romantic and well written.... it flows well. It somewhat reminds me of "Sleepless in Seatle".
The non-intentional rhyme is something that I have been working on more and more. Writing non rhyme helps me focus more on the ideas I want to convey.
Great job my friend,
Willofree, Terry |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 05:05:54 PM AEST
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Flawless in every way conceivable. My dear friend, this is the most beautiful and radiant poem I have ever laid eyes on in a while. I wish I had mroe to say, but this one just...absolutely stole away my 'thesaurus abilities', lol. Exquisite piece, cheri. Always a apleasure reading your work. More when words are suitable. All my love. Forever,
Your dear friend,
Stephy!! *hugs and love* |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 07:06:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I love this write Nazzy! It is intriguing and the story just carries you along...you also did a wonderful job on your challenge. So glad I got to read this one!
Carol (Who is a sucker for 'love at first sight' anyway!) |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 07:13:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Bravo, bravo! A splendid piece. And your mission was accomplished with smashing success. A jolly good read.
(those are called glowing terms, I believe)
Andrew
(who loved it) |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by critterhideaway on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 08:36:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| How very nice, Have been away from this world for awhile and oh how I missed it. Thank you for another wonderful poem!!!! I love it, what a dream!!! |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 30th March 2005 @ 02:12:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| wow beautiful write. |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 12:27:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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hey, you..I'm having a "kiss contest" on the other site..this would be good..
I need some car part names..just one really.. for a poem I'm doing? it's a ..and my pistons don't ***** thing LOL..
so something that would go with that. It doesn't have to rhyme.. are there blowers? blowers don't blow?
plugs aren't plugged???? |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by GurlyTye on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 06:32:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is one i hadn't read yet. i really liked it though |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 12th April 2005 @ 06:19:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Gret write. Luv the title.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 2nd May 2005 @ 01:42:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow....... sooo beautiful, flowing and just awesome, i love this poem! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: A Poet's Kiss
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 4th May 2005 @ 05:05:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I must say you easily conquered your challenge...So many really talented poets on this site, and you're most definitely up there. |
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