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Array
(
[sid] => 88402
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Little China Doll
[time] => 2005-03-22 19:27:36
[hometext] => I tried something new. I wrote a sonnet. Usually I don't start out with any particular structure in mind so this is different. Constructive criticism welcomed and appreciated.
[bodytext] => ~Before I type up this poem, I'd like to let you in on what I based this sonnet on. It is a hyperbole of my parent-driven angst. I used something called an "envelope sonnet" It has an abba cddc efgefg rhyme scheme. It resembles an Italian sonnet with a Sicilian sestet (abba abba cdecde). Without further ado... the poem!~ A little China doll, a porcelain face Is wearing rags of dirty cherish'd cloth. Suppressed by parents, wrongly blamed for sloth She's taking ev'rything with humble grace. For keeping knives in kitchen draw'rs to save Since knife was tool in suicidal rage She's held for murder, locked up in a cage. As if this takes a freedom they once gave. But, lo! A handsome stranger knows the truth And beauty of this China maiden's soul. He's captivated by it's radiant glow. Determined now to free her in her youth He fills her emptiness and makes her whole And, with his love's great power, ends her woe. My thoughts: It's not as sophisticated as I'd thought it would turn out (at least I'd hoped for it to turn out that way). The whole poem turned out too bright for my dark, too weak for the power I wanted it to have, too light for the weight I wanted to add and too young-sounding. But, hey, it's my first attempt. Maybe I'll get better someday. Age like wine perhaps. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 504 [topic] => 43 [informant] => liquidsunshine [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
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