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Array ( [sid] => 88372 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Wild Rant [time] => 2005-03-22 16:55:46 [hometext] => I'm sure that this is about some underlying tension I must feel, that is below the surface and cannot quite be defined.....but the main reason I like this is because I love the words and the images. [bodytext] => Can't stand this pang of injustice.
As widows weep in the surreal damp mist,
feelings of grief rupture up through caverns
and deserted limbs, and there is nothing left
to take place of unjarred thoughts, that spill
symbiotic fluid, out in the open, staining
living room rugs and leaving behind a fragrance
of filthe, imposing, rude, unjustified scrambled justifications,
left unexplained and bare.

For whatever reasons,
nothing matters. Damage only expresses half of the guilt,
the other half cannot be defined but can be
observed through looking glass towers,
carefully placed transparently on the eye of the sun,
that traps blond haired, no nonsense, nonsensical girls,
speaking in the language of this present age,
which resembles 50 year dashes for immortality,
and fast fixes that leave disatisfied after tastes
on the cold tongues of present day people.

And wildy, five, four-fingered words
transform into dwarfs, that demand recognition,
human rights, and above all a generous salary
that would provide the shakals that are necessary
to firm their feet into the quicksand, carefully,
slowly, swallowing whole fingers and toes,
gracefully, entering new corridors left unavailable
to nowhere strangers, that are opened on demand
by renegade outlaws, dressed in loosly felt business atire,
covering and hidden blemish or burn. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 254 [topic] => 43 [informant] => zenmind [notes] => To maintain the correct comment to poem ratio, please do not comment on your own work. Commenting on your own work does not ensure your poem will be edited. See site help to have a poem edited. Your comment on this posting has been removed. Thank you. Moderator_18 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Wild Rant

Contributed by zenmind on Tuesday, 22nd March 2005 @ 04:55:46 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Can't stand this pang of injustice.
As widows weep in the surreal damp mist,
feelings of grief rupture up through caverns
and deserted limbs, and there is nothing left
to take place of unjarred thoughts, that spill
symbiotic fluid, out in the open, staining
living room rugs and leaving behind a fragrance
of filthe, imposing, rude, unjustified scrambled justifications,
left unexplained and bare.

For whatever reasons,
nothing matters. Damage only expresses half of the guilt,
the other half cannot be defined but can be
observed through looking glass towers,
carefully placed transparently on the eye of the sun,
that traps blond haired, no nonsense, nonsensical girls,
speaking in the language of this present age,
which resembles 50 year dashes for immortality,
and fast fixes that leave disatisfied after tastes
on the cold tongues of present day people.

And wildy, five, four-fingered words
transform into dwarfs, that demand recognition,
human rights, and above all a generous salary
that would provide the shakals that are necessary
to firm their feet into the quicksand, carefully,
slowly, swallowing whole fingers and toes,
gracefully, entering new corridors left unavailable
to nowhere strangers, that are opened on demand
by renegade outlaws, dressed in loosly felt business atire,
covering and hidden blemish or burn.

Copyright © zenmind ... [ 2005-03-22 16:55:46]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Wild Rant (User Rating: 1 )
by electrique_poet on Tuesday, 22nd March 2005 @ 05:46:51 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i couldnt really tell ya why, but i love the words i have just read, they are full of imagery and colorful descriptions that taste like sweetened bitterness just how grandma used to make;
well done

... in words electrique

Re: Wild Rant (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 31st March 2005 @ 04:46:29 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I read any without having to see your comment, so I think the readers will do the same. It was easy to get caught up in the flow and imagery so that of course the word was any.

I liked this:
and above all a generous salary
that would provide the shakals that are necessary
to firm their feet into the quicksand, carefully,
slowly, swallowing whole fingers and toes,

Great read - thanks for this
mj

Re: Wild Rant (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 2nd April 2005 @ 03:12:06 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

How shall I describe this. It is forthright, yet cryptic. Layered and yet very much straightforward, but most of all I want to say this is "urban". Not sure if you'll get that, but thats how it makes me feel.

Re: Wild Rant (User Rating: 1 )
by xxbreathlessx on Monday, 4th April 2005 @ 05:49:39 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

the imagery you put into this is amazing, you describe it until a clear picture forms in our minds allwikng us to See what you have to say, rather than just reading it. your choice of words are great. i think you excelled in this poem.

Re: Wild Rant (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 6th April 2005 @ 07:14:45 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i just can't get enough of your poetry, and this one is a great example of why. You have a whay of using the right words to convey the greatest of all feelings.

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