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Array ( [sid] => 88265 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Anger [time] => 2005-03-21 19:03:02 [hometext] => my ending needs some help suggestions always appreciated [bodytext] => Consuming your every nerve
It ropes you in
Your heart beats
Faster...Faster
Your palms become sweaty
Your eyes glow red
All the blood and frustration
Rushing to your head
You want to yell and scream
But are unable
To even speak
Your delicate behavior
Turns vicious
Its grasp is tight
Trying to calm down
With all your might
With clenched fists
You grind your teeth
The anger has shot you
Hunted you down
Now having taken its toll
This feeling has total control
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 225 [topic] => 25 [informant] => Les4567 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => MiscPoems )

Anger

Contributed by Les4567 on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:03:02 PM in AEST
Topic: MiscPoems

Consuming your every nerve
It ropes you in
Your heart beats
Faster...Faster
Your palms become sweaty
Your eyes glow red
All the blood and frustration
Rushing to your head
You want to yell and scream
But are unable
To even speak
Your delicate behavior
Turns vicious
Its grasp is tight
Trying to calm down
With all your might
With clenched fists
You grind your teeth
The anger has shot you
Hunted you down
Now having taken its toll
This feeling has total control

Copyright © Les4567 ... [ 2005-03-21 19:03:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Anger (User Rating: 1 )
by TUNE on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:25:13 PM AEST
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keep writing ya poems up in this website u know how to write and i liked this it was nice ~1~ Tun3

Re: Anger (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 07:31:35 PM AEST
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Hmn. I'm not sure about the rhymes, as they're half in, half out of the structure, and sort of sit in limbo, for me. However, it does have some nice themes regarding mindless rage - the hunting and the shooting, I can relate to, as well as the clenching fists and grinding teeth. Those are necessary inclusions for any effective description of manic fury.

Perhaps if it didn't rhyme so sporadically, the rhythm wouldn't distract me from absorbing the meaning of your words. As for the ending, i'd write it as;

"Now you have paid its toll,
and you are lost within its mist"

Just a suggestion.

Keep writing and commenting, Leslie.

Re: Anger (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 11:00:17 PM AEST
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since i am angry all of the time, this one really spoke to me. maybe for the ending you could have. and you are no more, or your reason is no more. something like that. but anyway. this was lovely, made me angry just reading it. i loved the tone especially.

Re: Anger (User Rating: 1 )
by SeptChill on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 11:07:11 PM AEST
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With Clench fists
You grind your teeth....
Hmmmm.....
Let no man or woman cross your path
Less you release the beast within
For it' has taken control
Consuming your soul

Kind of dark :) I liked the poem

Re: Anger (User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on Tuesday, 22nd March 2005 @ 12:35:49 AM AEST
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THE ANGER HAS FOUND YOU

AND TAKING YOU DOWN, NOW

THE REEPER IS LAUGHING AS

YOU ROT, IN THE GROUND . . .

DORIAN CHAMBERS

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