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Array ( [sid] => 88241 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => FRIENDS TO LOVERS [time] => 2005-03-21 16:57:20 [hometext] => WHEN I WRITE DIS MI BOIFRIEND WAS LOCKED UP AND I WROTE DIS FOR HIM... PLEASE COMMENT [bodytext] => WE STARTED AS FRIENDS
BUT WE KNEW SOON THAT WOULD END
I TRIED TO HIDE IT
BUT FINALLY I GAVE IN

NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE
SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER
YOUR MORE THAN MY FRIEND
YOUR MY SOULMATE AND LOVER

WE STARTED OFF ROUGH
BUT NOW WE HAVE GROWN
FO EVA U'LL KEEP ME
MY HEART U WILL OWN

STAY CLOSE BY MY SIDE
PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME HERE
BEING ALONE W/O U
IS MY ONLY TRUE FEAR

OUR LOVE IS STRONG
NOTHIN CAN BREAK DIS BOND
U DIDNT SEE IT COMING
BUT IT WAS OF U I GREW FOND

I WISH U COULD HEAR ME
AND LOOK INTO MY EYES
UDE SAY I'M BEAUTIFUL
AND OUR LOVE WILL NEVA DIE

I WANNA ME DA GURL
U COMMET URSELF TO
WHO U SPEND YO LYFE WIT
AND THRO VOWS SAY I DO

RITE NOW WERE APART
AND U NO MI HEARTS IN PAIN
BUT WHEN U GET OUT
EVERYTHIN WILL BE OKAY

U CANT HEAR MY WORDS
OR THE VOICE THRO WHICH I SPEACK
BUT I HOPE U FEEL MI LOVE
CUZ ITS MY LOVE DAT MAKES U WEAK

U MAY NOT SEE IT NOW
BUT IN THE FUTURE WE STAND
UP ON DA ALTER
SAYIN I LUV U HAND N HAND

I'LL ALWAYS B LOYAL
AND LOVE U FO LYFE
NOW LAY DOWN YO HEAD
AND DREAM BOUT ME TONITE [comments] => 2 [counter] => 189 [topic] => 2 [informant] => CrippinBabi513 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

FRIENDS TO LOVERS

Contributed by CrippinBabi513 on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 04:57:20 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

WE STARTED AS FRIENDS
BUT WE KNEW SOON THAT WOULD END
I TRIED TO HIDE IT
BUT FINALLY I GAVE IN

NOW LOOK WHERE WE ARE
SO CLOSE TO EACH OTHER
YOUR MORE THAN MY FRIEND
YOUR MY SOULMATE AND LOVER

WE STARTED OFF ROUGH
BUT NOW WE HAVE GROWN
FO EVA U'LL KEEP ME
MY HEART U WILL OWN

STAY CLOSE BY MY SIDE
PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME HERE
BEING ALONE W/O U
IS MY ONLY TRUE FEAR

OUR LOVE IS STRONG
NOTHIN CAN BREAK DIS BOND
U DIDNT SEE IT COMING
BUT IT WAS OF U I GREW FOND

I WISH U COULD HEAR ME
AND LOOK INTO MY EYES
UDE SAY I'M BEAUTIFUL
AND OUR LOVE WILL NEVA DIE

I WANNA ME DA GURL
U COMMET URSELF TO
WHO U SPEND YO LYFE WIT
AND THRO VOWS SAY I DO

RITE NOW WERE APART
AND U NO MI HEARTS IN PAIN
BUT WHEN U GET OUT
EVERYTHIN WILL BE OKAY

U CANT HEAR MY WORDS
OR THE VOICE THRO WHICH I SPEACK
BUT I HOPE U FEEL MI LOVE
CUZ ITS MY LOVE DAT MAKES U WEAK

U MAY NOT SEE IT NOW
BUT IN THE FUTURE WE STAND
UP ON DA ALTER
SAYIN I LUV U HAND N HAND

I'LL ALWAYS B LOYAL
AND LOVE U FO LYFE
NOW LAY DOWN YO HEAD
AND DREAM BOUT ME TONITE

Copyright © CrippinBabi513 ... [ 2005-03-21 16:57:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: FRIENDS TO LOVERS (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 05:07:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I'm not quite sure why you have it all in capitals..
The general content is good, and the flow is good, but I think you need to work on spelling a little.
Also, using full words instead of one letter abbreviations woud make the poem seem more serious and better done.

I hope this helps.
*hugs* Phil xxx

Re: FRIENDS TO LOVERS (User Rating: 1 )
by b_rand on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 05:20:33 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

yes the ebonics need to be trimmed waaaaaaay down. i hope everythings okay, good poem however

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