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Array ( [sid] => 88235 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => For but a moment... [time] => 2005-03-21 16:24:26 [hometext] => I would love to have some honest feedback, I've been writing for years but i've never let anyone read it. Thanks! [bodytext] => ....For but a moment
time stood still
All I could see was you
The world had disappeared
I am lost in your eyes
Emotions I've never felt
begin erupting inside
For but a moment...

....For but a moment
as time stood still
Two souls are searching
Dreaming, straining, yearning
As one to be
Looking for a sign
A reason for destinies design
For but a moment....

For but a moment
as time stood still
And I start to wonder
Why life could be this way
I can finally see
The true meaning of
"We were meant to be"
For but a moment....

Eventually in that moment, I've learned
What a lifetime failed to teach
I cant help but see
Nothing is real
Sometimes its all just a dream
The moment which transends reality is gone
And in its place
Helpless love is lost
For but a moment.... [comments] => 2 [counter] => 161 [topic] => 2 [informant] => Angelgirlprincess [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

For but a moment...

Contributed by Angelgirlprincess on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 04:24:26 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

....For but a moment
time stood still
All I could see was you
The world had disappeared
I am lost in your eyes
Emotions I've never felt
begin erupting inside
For but a moment...

....For but a moment
as time stood still
Two souls are searching
Dreaming, straining, yearning
As one to be
Looking for a sign
A reason for destinies design
For but a moment....

For but a moment
as time stood still
And I start to wonder
Why life could be this way
I can finally see
The true meaning of
"We were meant to be"
For but a moment....

Eventually in that moment, I've learned
What a lifetime failed to teach
I cant help but see
Nothing is real
Sometimes its all just a dream
The moment which transends reality is gone
And in its place
Helpless love is lost
For but a moment....

Copyright © Angelgirlprincess ... [ 2005-03-21 16:24:26]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: For but a moment... (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 21st March 2005 @ 05:10:13 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This has strength, and is paced well within its length which I find acceptable (not that this is any kind of criterion of quality). You can rhyme, and do it intelligently in the right places, too. I think this is good.

However, in this piece, I'd lose the repetitions of 'for but a moment' throughout each stanza, saving them only for the intro on the first, and the outro on the last, as I think that repetitions or chorusses are best left in song writing, in my opinion.

Anyway - concise expression. Welcome to YPDC and keep commenting!

Re: For but a moment... (User Rating: 1 )
by europeanprincess on Tuesday, 31st January 2006 @ 04:38:31 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It was good. I think it actually provided a small touch of what you are feeling. We may not know you, but it is good to know of you. It seems as though you are a loving person and want to be and feel love. As do all. Keep writing. I

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