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Array ( [sid] => 86801 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Celestial (Dead) Body [time] => 2005-03-07 23:36:03 [hometext] => Another Creative Writing Class assignment... low vowel sounds. Please comment. Is it too ambiguous like my teacher says? [bodytext] => The moon,
gold-hued and low,
old and overworked,
yet worthy.

Like a woman,
gloom-wrapped and stowed,
cold and undone,
yet deserving.
[comments] => 6 [counter] => 219 [topic] => 64 [informant] => girltranscended [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ambiguous )

Celestial (Dead) Body

Contributed by girltranscended on Monday, 7th March 2005 @ 11:36:03 PM in AEST
Topic: ambiguous

The moon,
gold-hued and low,
old and overworked,
yet worthy.

Like a woman,
gloom-wrapped and stowed,
cold and undone,
yet deserving.

Copyright © girltranscended ... [ 2005-03-07 23:36:03]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 12:35:26 AM AEST
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Too ambigous? Absolutely not. I personally think you give the read a gift by allowing them their own interpretation. This... felt very much like that to me.

It was both beautiful and meloncholic from my vantage point... Someone else, may find it something else -- but that, I think, is as it should be.

Lovely-
SNM

Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 12:43:46 AM AEST
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Good work.
huggs,
emy

Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on Tuesday, 8th March 2005 @ 05:38:29 AM AEST
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Nah, its pretty cool. If your teacher thinks its too ambiguous, try it on someone with a few more IQ points. This is smart and beautiful.
A terrific read, a real poem, an actual poet!

Spike

Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on Friday, 15th April 2005 @ 06:52:00 PM AEST
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I liked this. This is original, and it made me think differently, outside of my own perspective, for a second. I think this is an interesting metaphore, of the moon compared to a woman, and I thought you provided some insight into what it is to be a woman in this society.

Be True,
zenmind

Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 08:08:35 PM AEST
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whats ambiguous? i think personifing the moon is a great idea, and yes it probably would be a haggard old fool (i think man myself, but that ruins the metaphore) probably bored of being though of so romantically...

Re: Celestial (Dead) Body (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 28th May 2005 @ 10:19:44 AM AEST
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I don't feel there is such a thing as being too ambiguous. Like SNM says, the reader is allowed their own interpritations...also the writer is allowed to express their message in whatever format they choose.
I like the ambiguity in this...well done.

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