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Array
(
[sid] => 86058
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Mist
[time] => 2005-03-01 02:44:18
[hometext] => I wrote this myself, i dont know if anyone will read it, but if u do, thanks
[bodytext] => I work my way through each day. My mind begins to be clear. I am starting to be able to focus on things. I finally feal like going out again. But then it happens, the same thing that happens every time. My mind goes crazy, my thoughts go scattered. I can't focus, I don't know what to say. and its all for one reason. That one thing that sets all off over and over. Its when I see. its when i see her. She clouds my mind like a cool mist. At the beginning it seems like bliss. Then when everything gets damp. I start to fall away, like im being pulled from existance. My mind starts playing games, I begin to lose control. It starts to feel like depression. and now i sit here, trying to regain control of my mind, my thoughts, myself. I try to contimplate, see my odds, see where i stand. But reality becomes mixed with the fabricated tricks of my mind. will i ever prevail, will i ever keep control. I dont know, perhaps I will never know. I cant say its been so long, when in fact its been never. One thing that still eludes me, the reason. Is it only her that sets the mess into motion, or is there others. I cant seem to remember, maybe there has been, and the memory has been lost in the mist. I dont know, i just dont. its been never, never in the terms of what i want so much. to never be alone, to never be left out, to just be with someone, just once. Now as i recall there are other factors, factors in which bring upon the mist. Its when i see others, others that are not alone, couples. with that it eludes me, behind the mist is that reason i spoke of before is there. behind the mist is the girl that confuses me the most. I cant see, like usual i cant focus, so i dont know. im getting older now, and things are changing. i thought it would pass, but i fear its only getting worse. time is passing, with each passing its adding to the time i've been alone. im searching for an answer, i fear there will be no help. each moment i spend searching, i find myself left in the mist. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 33 [informant] => youthoughtyouknew [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SecretLove )
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