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Array
(
[sid] => 85304
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Poet's Ramblings 7
[time] => 2005-02-22 15:25:53
[hometext] => I just wanted to clarify something before you went to read... These 'Poet Ramblings' aren't written to make any sense...they are created to extend the mind over its limits, and form surreal images... they are just an extension of my mind and soul...
[bodytext] => A shrill calling through this endless fog,
And the path is cleared with a smile...
Silence proceeds after a word is sung,
The mindless litany rages on,
And the crosses are put to an infinite sleep...
Loneliness slumbers with Sorrow,
And the rose wilts into nothing with just one touch...
Tainted- smothered by the worthlessness that is this dusty image,
I know who she is...she's me...
I look closely into the mirror of deceptions,
And I see a morbid youth with aged eyes...
An ancient sagacity that a child should not possess...
Yet, the pain resides still,
And Melancholy cries her tears,
Acidic rain unto my diseased flesh...
I come to a fork in the road,
Hating this seemingly perpetual odyssey,
Wondering if it'll ever end...
And the voices shriek for release,
Paranoia ensues with great ferocity,
And I am left in darkness...
No candle to light my way,
Just these blind hands and sightless eyes...
Ramblings of an insane poetess,
These smeared ebony words will burn your lips,
Ravage your soul, stab your heart...
And all that will be left,
Is the unbearable sting...
Of uncertainty...
[comments] => 6
[counter] => 205
[topic] => 43
[informant] => FleurdeSang
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 10
[ratings] => 2
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => oops
)
Poet's Ramblings 7
Contributed by
FleurdeSang
on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 03:25:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
A shrill calling through this endless fog,
And the path is cleared with a smile...
Silence proceeds after a word is sung,
The mindless litany rages on,
And the crosses are put to an infinite sleep...
Loneliness slumbers with Sorrow,
And the rose wilts into nothing with just one touch...
Tainted- smothered by the worthlessness that is this dusty image,
I know who she is...she's me...
I look closely into the mirror of deceptions,
And I see a morbid youth with aged eyes...
An ancient sagacity that a child should not possess...
Yet, the pain resides still,
And Melancholy cries her tears,
Acidic rain unto my diseased flesh...
I come to a fork in the road,
Hating this seemingly perpetual odyssey,
Wondering if it'll ever end...
And the voices shriek for release,
Paranoia ensues with great ferocity,
And I am left in darkness...
No candle to light my way,
Just these blind hands and sightless eyes...
Ramblings of an insane poetess,
These smeared ebony words will burn your lips,
Ravage your soul, stab your heart...
And all that will be left,
Is the unbearable sting...
Of uncertainty...
Copyright ©
FleurdeSang
... [
2005-02-22 15:25:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 06:08:02 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Am I the only one who appreciates this style of writing??? I guess so....well, welcome to my world. I am constantly writing poems that receive little or no comments, or I receive comments that don't say anything about the poem because people do not seem to understand or appreciate my poetry. I think it mostly confuses people. Oh well, I am just letting out my own frustration.
As for your poem, dear.....I loved it! I think this poem perfectly expresssed your daily struggle in which you are constantly involved with a battle within yourself. A battle in which you feel like you are losing, and only a sting remains (I like that image you used at the end).
A shrill calling through this endless fog,
And the path is cleared with a smile...
Silence proceeds after a word is sung,
The mindless litany rages on,
And the crosses are put to an infinite sleep...
I love the style here. The images are indeed surreal and dream like. That style always makes poems feel organic, like it is alive and flowing. The beginning of the poem feels very meditative as well. I really like that feeling because in order to express that you must come back to the moment, and rest your attention here, in the present, and thus you are returning to the essence of yourself. When we return to this place within ourselves, that is when our true expression is able to be expressed. This part feels like breathing, it is very quiet, like you are resting before you started running with it.
Loneliness slumbers with Sorrow,
And the rose wilts into nothing with just one touch...
Tainted- smothered by the worthlessness that is this dusty image,
I know who she is...she's me...
And this is your struggle. You expressed this part very clearly and eloquently. I love the image of "the rose wilts into nothing with just one touch...."----very surreal. I love that style.
I look closely into the mirror of deceptions,
And I see a morbid youth with aged eyes...
An ancient sagacity that a child should not possess...
Yet, the pain resides still,
And Melancholy cries her tears,
Acidic rain unto my diseased flesh...
I love how you paint this portrait of how you see yourself. It is a very intimate look into your mind. "I see a morbid youth with aged eyes"----You are allowing the reader to see through your eyes. Which makes this part feel honest and real, and I appreciate how you are always wiling to present yourself in an open, wounded, and vulnerable postion. It really highlights your own humanity that we all share with and possess as well.
I come to a fork in the road,
Hating this seemingly perpetual odyssey,
Wondering if it'll ever end...
And the voices shriek for release,
Paranoia ensues with great ferocity,
And I am left in darkness...
I wonder, where does the other path lead to? One path obviously leads down the same spiral downwards that you are on now, of fear, insecurity, and depression, but where does this other path lead to?
And all that will be left,
Is the unbearable sting...
Of uncertainty...
Well said. It totally expresses where you are at now.
Be True,
zenmind |
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 06:11:35 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I loved your poem. I like this style, it makes me think and imagine and I like that! Great write. Will read more!
Carol |
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 06:22:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Beautiful stephy, in musical terms this is jazz
a form of improvisations, a musician of high
tecnichal skill would be needed 2 perform it,
u r one of that caliber, a lovely peice of poetry
by one so lovely . . . Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on
Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 08:21:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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My goodness. That was a good write that :-) It was a little wavy in the beginning but the
build up was Excellent . The last words created in the readers eye ... well its only a vision of ebony words that burn our lips .
Nice write I enjoyed it.
Whisper
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Friday, 25th February 2005 @ 12:59:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Exeptional piece of poetry.
Supreme
Love Sweetangelukxxxx |
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Re: Poet's Ramblings 7
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 26th October 2010 @ 11:44:45 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Apparently I love extensions. |
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