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Array ( [sid] => 85288 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Vows [time] => 2005-02-22 12:49:02 [hometext] => Responses entusiastically wanted, as I am intending to use this in our upcoming wedding. Still a work in progress, not entirely sure if this is how I want it to sound [bodytext] => I promise to love you
To treat you with care
No matter what happens
To always be there
To lend you my strength
Through times that are blue
Together as one
We will always get through
Each day of our future
I'll cherish your love
And strive to be all
Your heart has dreamed of
And return every moment
Of joy that you give
Ten thousand times over
As long as we live
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 175 [topic] => 2 [informant] => LadyWynter [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 19 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LovePoetry )

Vows

Contributed by LadyWynter on Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 12:49:02 PM in AEST
Topic: LovePoetry

I promise to love you
To treat you with care
No matter what happens
To always be there
To lend you my strength
Through times that are blue
Together as one
We will always get through
Each day of our future
I'll cherish your love
And strive to be all
Your heart has dreamed of
And return every moment
Of joy that you give
Ten thousand times over
As long as we live

Copyright © LadyWynter ... [ 2005-02-22 12:49:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Vows (User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 01:05:10 PM AEST
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I kept getting tripped up in the flow towards the end, untill I slowed down and read it tapping my foot to a measured beat. The only revision i could suggest, would be perhaps to this line ... "And return every moment ..."

It seems to read better to me as
Returning each moment ...(?)

But that is just my thought.

Nazmythian ~
( well written piece ... personally, I would feel honoured to hear those words )

Re: Vows (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 22nd February 2005 @ 02:05:09 PM AEST
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I liked it.

Re: Vows (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 25th February 2005 @ 03:20:37 AM AEST
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A very lucky dude.... you have a tremendous talent..... Magnificant!!!

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