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Array
(
[sid] => 85162
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Ugly me
[time] => 2005-02-21 13:06:29
[hometext] => im not really suicidal i just feel really crappy and ugly at the moment....
[bodytext] => I have this loneliness inside that no one understands but me. i feel so ****ing ugly i cant stand myself can’t nobody tell me any different i’m ugly and you know it too i know i’m short fat and ugly i know my hair’s long, legs and face pudgy and my clothes not the style i dont conform to you so i sit all day long just by myself i sit with the rope ready to go knowing i cant fail cuz who would want to catch someone who looks like me who ain’t even cute or even just a little tall. Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know, but I'm totally empty inside, and I've tried, I really have, to fill this void, but nothing helps nothing will ever do I have no feelings but self hate so where the hell did the rest go to? I'm never sure I had those missing feelings in the first place but I like to imagine a time I felt happy, or loved ohhh maybe there was a time for that but i don't remember I may seem happy to you, like nothing's ever wrong that I have a perfect life, but I don't, Very few people get to see the real me, so why the **** am i still here? why do i keep on breathing? i dont really know no one here to catch me so i let myself go [comments] => 3 [counter] => 183 [topic] => 61 [informant] => socialmisfit [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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