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Array
(
[sid] => 84751
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The End Of Little Red Riding Hood!
[time] => 2005-02-17 15:35:47
[hometext] => Long overdue part 3 of my little Red Riding Hood series, hope you enjoy this as much as parts 1 &2
[bodytext] => Red she got her castle Far off in the hills But she still needed an income And started selling pills All the fairyland people Were on one thing or another Even Baby Bear came by For amphetamines for his mother Goldilocks had scared her rigid Poor Mummy Bear couldn’t move Baby Bear had heard about Red Although he didn’t approve The 3 little pigs they all smoked weed And were always on a high The Big Bad Wolf supplied them And was planning a big pork pie When Red heard of the competition She advertised ‘Buy One Get One Free’ And soon they were queuing for miles around All glassy eyed and dreamy Red then got slightly worried Her profits had gone down She had a castle to uphold And was down to her last five pounds There was only one thing she could do To solve her money worries The Big Bad Wolf would have to go She went to see one of her buddies Bambi was a drugs baron Who supplied our little Red She explained about the Big Bad Wolf And her wish to see him dead But Red had crossed Bambi’s path One too many times He refused point blank to help her And her sexual favours he declined “You’ve tried my patience for far too long You still owe me a few grand Just pack your bags, we’ll call it quits Say goodbye to this fairytale land” “Oh Bambi please, don’t drive me out We’ve worked so well together If you make me go, I’ll stoop so low And tell of your fetish for leather!” Bambi looked on, he wanted her gone Bribery just wouldn’t work The mud wouldn’t stick Did she think he was thick? Everyone knew Red’s a dirty ole flirt So high was the sun When Bambi took out his gun The bullet went straight through Red’s heart Her last dying words Sounded rather absurd She said “I never got to shop at Walmart” The very next day Six foot under she lay Not a soul did visit her grave On her headstone it said ‘Thank Bambi, she’s dead Not a penny did that tight slapper save!’ [comments] => 2 [counter] => 535 [topic] => 7 [informant] => AliB [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )
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