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Array
(
[sid] => 84686
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My precious lil' baby boy
[time] => 2005-02-17 01:01:02
[hometext] => dedicated to the lil' boy who i never gave a chance at life....
[bodytext] => My preious baby My baby boy The one thing in this world that could of saved me from my destructiveness The one person who could of made me happy As much as i say i didnt want you and im glade it happend A little peice of my heart still aches for you A peice of my soul cries out for you to be in my arms The pain is there burried deep down The memory of seing your tiny tiny body floating in the toilet haunts me every night I never ment to lose you I didnt even know you were growing inside of me If i knew you have to know i would of done everything so diffrent I wouldnt have smoked or even pick up one drink I would of stoped snorting coke If i only knew instead of being too wasted to notice I dont know if i would of kept you Or even let you grow full term But i know i would of stoped hurting you so The night i lost you i didnt know what to do I should of picked you up and buried you in the ground But all i could do was and ask why I flushed you down the toilet and wanted to keep it a secret But the pain was too much to bare The visions of you calling out Yelling why mommy why Thats all i could hear im sorry my baby boy my precious boy But you have to understand i was so young so stupid and nieve You have to believe i didnt know if i knew you have to bellieve i would of given you a chance Im sorry i lost you my precious lil' baby boy Im sorry i couldnt give you the chance you so deserved But someone must of loved you more then i ever could They took you away from me to save you from the pain The pain i was putting you through The pain i would of put you through Someone saved you from having to deal with all the pain this world i live in would of caused you The world thats filled with anger and knows nothing but hard times My baby boy you have to understand its better this way Your in a better place A place you deserve A place ware you can feel no pain and not get hurt by me or anyone But please know i never ment to lose you i didnt know Im so sorry my precious lil' baby boy [comments] => 1 [counter] => 195 [topic] => 50 [informant] => BabyGurl_Monkey [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ApologyPoetry )
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