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(
[sid] => 84335
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lost Illumination
[time] => 2005-02-14 01:23:19
[hometext] => *** This.... knocked down approximately 84,628 walls to get here - it is, I think, two or three different pieces that wanted so badly to be interwoven, I couldn't figure out how to separate them ***
[bodytext] =>
The shoestring stories you recall
Had nothing to do with bunnies at all
For the moon was just the moon back then
- Heartbreak -
- And -
- SIN -
The lessons you learned, so incomplete
But shoes were tied and protected feet
The forest was nothing but timber to clear
- Arrogance -
- And -
- FEAR -
You walked straight lines on tippy toes
Never knowing what you couldn’t know
Wasteful were wishes on falling stars
- Ignorance -
- And -
- SCARS -
But those tender steps would move you on
Fast cars appeared where bikes had gone
The future but a discarded dream
- Indifference -
- And -
- SCREAMS -
until
You looked ahead instead of back
And a poet told you what you lacked
The silent one, with words in hand
- Showed you how to stand –
His wisdom then, your deaf ear
The first time you cried useful tears
Conviction wrapped in pretty bows
- Taught you how to grow -
Downpayment made on happiness
Something more for someone less
Golden he in the darkest night
- Begged for what was right -
but
Heartbreak, sin, arrogance and fear
Underneath it all, resided there
Ignorance, scars, indifference, screams
Clouded then, the crystal dream
and
You learned, oh God, so much more
Than those bunny-less things from before
And the pain of knowing will not subside
Forever changed when the poet cried
Now you’ve forgotten what it is to dream
And nothing is as it had seemed
The trees were all cut and strewn about
Under a sky that emptied its stars out
so
With nothing else that you can do
poet tears, you’ll cry too
when
on tippy toes
you reach the end
and the moon is just the moon again
[comments] => 27
[counter] => 614
[topic] => 48
[informant] => Silent-No-More
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 92
[ratings] => 19
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
Lost Illumination
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:23:19 AM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
The shoestring stories you recall
Had nothing to do with bunnies at all
For the moon was just the moon back then
- Heartbreak -
- And -
- SIN -
The lessons you learned, so incomplete
But shoes were tied and protected feet
The forest was nothing but timber to clear
- Arrogance -
- And -
- FEAR -
You walked straight lines on tippy toes
Never knowing what you couldn’t know
Wasteful were wishes on falling stars
- Ignorance -
- And -
- SCARS -
But those tender steps would move you on
Fast cars appeared where bikes had gone
The future but a discarded dream
- Indifference -
- And -
- SCREAMS -
until
You looked ahead instead of back
And a poet told you what you lacked
The silent one, with words in hand
- Showed you how to stand –
His wisdom then, your deaf ear
The first time you cried useful tears
Conviction wrapped in pretty bows
- Taught you how to grow -
Downpayment made on happiness
Something more for someone less
Golden he in the darkest night
- Begged for what was right -
but
Heartbreak, sin, arrogance and fear
Underneath it all, resided there
Ignorance, scars, indifference, screams
Clouded then, the crystal dream
and
You learned, oh God, so much more
Than those bunny-less things from before
And the pain of knowing will not subside
Forever changed when the poet cried
Now you’ve forgotten what it is to dream
And nothing is as it had seemed
The trees were all cut and strewn about
Under a sky that emptied its stars out
so
With nothing else that you can do
poet tears, you’ll cry too
when
on tippy toes
you reach the end
and the moon is just the moon again
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2005-02-14 01:23:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:33:05 AM AEST
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This . . . blows my mind . . .
I'll comment later, when I'm more coherent and can say something more worth saying. :) |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenn2004 on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:36:19 AM AEST
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|
| very interesting poem |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Loche on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:43:18 AM AEST
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| I like how everything came together from the begining all the way to the end, nice poem. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 02:00:54 AM AEST
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My God im actually speechless (does not happen often). SNM this was just incredible, the emotions were just powerful. I really enjoyed this emotional write.
Jane x
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 02:41:32 AM AEST
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| Powerful ... talented write. Wow I love it when a poet socks it to 'em, and does it with brilliance. I hope my intuition is right in thinking what this is about ... and if so, you've outdone yourself. Ten stars. .. Jan |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by fuzzywuzzy on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 03:19:51 AM AEST
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|
Every line was beautiful..but this line is very meaningful to me:
"But shoes were tied and protected feet"
I could rave like a maniac about that and the pants down to the..well nevermind..lol..beautiful work of art you have..it should be framed and hung on a wall..
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 04:33:57 AM AEST
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|
| wow... that was ***** awesome!!! that has to be one of the best writes ive ever read!! |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhymingron on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 07:08:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Excellent, beautiful, a rel fine poem. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 08:30:37 AM AEST
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wow that was so beautiful, left me feeling overwhelmed
pix xx |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 09:35:16 AM AEST
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| wow!! an unbelievably great, awsome, amazing, overwellming, beatiful, and dare i say: perfect write!! |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 10:43:33 AM AEST
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|
You knocked down all those wall, and me.
A taste of life from the beginning to the end. From childhood and its simple honest views, through adolecence and adulthood when we are " Oh so smart "
Then a resignation from the race when we see we could have strolled instead of run and would still have found the finish line
In between is that ..someone...who touches our lives like no other before or after.
I cant go without saying this is written perfectly, might be my favorite of yours.
Roses at your feet
Larry
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by freckle on
Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 10:25:57 PM AEST
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|
| This has got to be one of the best poems I have ever read in my life. It should be on plaques and in great anthlogies in libraries for all to see. I love it. A wonderful, wonderful piece of poetry. I am humbled to be in the presence of one so talented! thank you so much for sharing that with us. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 12:50:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Awww..sooo cute and amazing..magnificent write..:-) venkat |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 11:52:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow ... well, the timing of the write was ... just ... ( sigh ) ... you know ?
There is sooooooooooooooo much more here to say, but I'm not sure how to do so.
So I'll bow out with soft, amazed applause, and say ... For always, the moon shall be just what it is ... it can be no different. Yet there are a few precious moments in life, where we are graced with the ability to see the moon in a different light.
Nazzy ~
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 02:43:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
another amazing piece.
johnny. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 12:28:15 PM AEST
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Your poems have always impressed me as very superior, but this one is just amazing. It seems to depict a journey through stages of life. It was interesting regarding the two references to the forest, as I have been working on a poem about that.
I truely wish I had your talent
Fantastic write
Willofree |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 16th February 2005 @ 03:37:40 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is fantastic... heh even that word seems trivial. This certainly makes one thinks though, a definite masterpiece here and so very well written..
Take care
- Becca |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 10:13:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
How exactly did I miss this?
Shame on me, I'm sorry I did not read it before.
This is stunning, I really don't know where to start on a comment. Ok..the ending (Always a good place to start. lol.) was amazing, that one line totally made the poem for me, and shocked me, as all your poems do in some way or another.
I cannot really say a whle lot because nthing I say will do justice to this.
Stunning write hunni.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 11:05:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
And so is the acceptance of what is real and the process of growing and becoming wise. For it simply is what it is as the moon has always been itself. I had to read this over and over. So MUCH here and so well written.
Stitch |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 11:31:30 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
"The trees were all cut and strewn about
Under a sky that emptied its stars out"
This was such an emotional image, in the forest of emotional images you drew here - It struck me particularly hard - I shed a tear.
Compelling and strident - It is also irradiant.
Glad that you are capable,
N_F |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 06:27:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Can I ever look at this objectively? I think not.
You have taken 3 pieces (three phases of your life?) and blended them in such a way as to make them dependent on each other.
You have much talent. I am not sure if I can express this right but here goes...
Even when the moon is just the moon, deep deep down inside...it's not.
.....sigh...... |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Flipped_out on
Friday, 18th February 2005 @ 03:57:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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*bump* ouch me falling off chair..ive always envied your poems, because you;re a bloomin genius I just wish i was articulate enough to say something worthy..all i can manage is OMG!! wow, amazing
ty Kelly xx |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 27th February 2005 @ 10:48:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| snemmy do you just have to put every poet to shame with your immense talent? =] |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 3rd March 2005 @ 02:17:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow. Now here is a poem. This was a real read, my friend. Profound, open, deep, and real. Well done!
Methinks I'll be rereading this.
Andrew |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on
Friday, 25th March 2005 @ 06:25:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Aww, this was a very strong beautifull poem. It took my breath away. I love it. Great job. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on
Sunday, 5th June 2005 @ 10:09:45 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I don't know when I've read a more moving poem, that didn't have a particular Christian orientation, (which I normally prefer). Excellent. So well structured - and melancholy. |
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Re: Lost Illumination
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th June 2006 @ 01:42:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I stand in awe!
And yeah, what Essentially9 said!
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