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Array ( [sid] => 84227 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The day the forest died [time] => 2005-02-13 13:01:47 [hometext] => I think this is my first happy style poem. I wish there was a 'hopeful' poetry section though. Constructive criticism appreciated. [bodytext] =>

I know I am alone now,
Because the winds have died away,
The birds do not sing their song anymore,
I cannot hear the leaves at play,
The air doesn't whistle through the trees,
It will not blow my thoughts aside,
The air doesn't breathe around me,
And I do not have anywhere left to hide.
I cannot hear the lull of the waves,
I cannot smell the sea,
My tears are the only thing I can taste,
As I wonder where I can be,
Because I know that this is not my place...
...But I'll find it one day in my dreams.

Where the winds will whistle softly,
Calling me by name,
And the leaves will shuffle playfully,
As if playing a musical game,
And the birds will play a counter tune,
To the song within my mind,
And I will soon forget about the day,
The forest seemed to die.


But for now, I will just go on home,
Dancing through the silent trees,
Trying to listen for the music,
I love so much, it is part of me,
The whistling of the wind in tune,
To the birds, the leaves, the sky,
The little things around me,
That make me feel alive.
But I know that this is not my place,
It is not where I should be.
But it will never really matter,
Because that place is here in my dreams...

Where the winds will whistle softly,
Calling me by name,
And the leaves will shuffle playfully,
As if playing a musical game,
And the birds will play a counter tune,
To the song within my mind,
And I will soon forget about the day,
The forest seemed to die.

[comments] => 13 [counter] => 196 [topic] => 48 [informant] => lostinmyself [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 35 [ratings] => 7 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
The day the forest died

Contributed by lostinmyself on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 01:01:47 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



I know I am alone now,
Because the winds have died away,
The birds do not sing their song anymore,
I cannot hear the leaves at play,
The air doesn't whistle through the trees,
It will not blow my thoughts aside,
The air doesn't breathe around me,
And I do not have anywhere left to hide.
I cannot hear the lull of the waves,
I cannot smell the sea,
My tears are the only thing I can taste,
As I wonder where I can be,
Because I know that this is not my place...
...But I'll find it one day in my dreams.

Where the winds will whistle softly,
Calling me by name,
And the leaves will shuffle playfully,
As if playing a musical game,
And the birds will play a counter tune,
To the song within my mind,
And I will soon forget about the day,
The forest seemed to die.


But for now, I will just go on home,
Dancing through the silent trees,
Trying to listen for the music,
I love so much, it is part of me,
The whistling of the wind in tune,
To the birds, the leaves, the sky,
The little things around me,
That make me feel alive.
But I know that this is not my place,
It is not where I should be.
But it will never really matter,
Because that place is here in my dreams...

Where the winds will whistle softly,
Calling me by name,
And the leaves will shuffle playfully,
As if playing a musical game,
And the birds will play a counter tune,
To the song within my mind,
And I will soon forget about the day,
The forest seemed to die.





Copyright © lostinmyself ... [ 2005-02-13 13:01:47]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 01:14:25 PM AEST
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this was a really good write. to be honest, i cant really think of any good constructive criticism cause u handled your words so well here. as for your title, which reminds me of the lyrics of 'American Pie,' since the person appears to be out of place or sumthing, u culd find an adjective for that or...sumthing...
but neways great write.


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Whisper on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 01:54:52 PM AEST
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What a wonderful write. And a common sense you create with your choice or words and its nice flowing. I really like the different emphasis on the "..the windss will shine... and the forest seem to die." Nice

Whisper


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 02:43:06 PM AEST
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I really love this, Philomena. I can hardly find the words to pay you a compliment, but I'll try.
I feel as if I'm the one alone... when you described the wind not blowing and the air not whistling... it took my breath away... I could taste the tears, I could feel what you described...everything. This is perfectly written and I'm very happy for you. Also, I like the title and wonder what you deem so ill-fitting about it.

Lots of love and peace be with you,

Chelsea


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Phantomdream on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 02:50:04 PM AEST
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Flows beautiffuly. Just lovely


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 03:22:54 PM AEST
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this is poetic genius and i really mean that excellent work
johnny.


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 05:08:33 PM AEST
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This is lovely, and I would love to hear it sung. It is a rite of passage...to move on to where a place is no longer yours and yet always hold the memory of that place precious. You have captured that moment of change in a life with words deserving of that richness. Bravo, my friend, you are a consumate poet in my humble opinion.
Stitch


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by allforyou on Sunday, 13th February 2005 @ 05:37:26 PM AEST
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AMAZING!!!

--Kara


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 02:49:20 AM AEST
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amazing is right wow philly .
this is sooo awsome.


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on Monday, 14th February 2005 @ 01:30:22 PM AEST
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Constructive criticism ? OK .... Don't change a single word !!! How's that ? you done good here Phil. I love it as is. Nicely written. I like the feel that better days are just around the next corner ... perhaps beginning tomorrow ... ?

Nazzy ~
( a deffinate 5+ way more !!! )


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Tuesday, 15th February 2005 @ 06:14:37 AM AEST
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Wow Phil this was just outstanding, your words are always so alive with each poem you submit. I don’t think you need any constructive criticism hun you’ve done this brilliantly.

Hugs,
Jane xxx


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:24:58 AM AEST
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Beautiful. Creative. Brilliant. A Masterpiece. I do believe you've left me in envy of your talent once again *sniffles* lol

Take Care
- Becca


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 19th March 2005 @ 06:22:10 PM AEST
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Somehow happy, yet sad. hopeful, yes definately hopeful....ahhhh this is so good!!!!


Re: The day the forest died (User Rating: 1 )
by UnlovedChild on Thursday, 24th March 2005 @ 05:28:26 PM AEST
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Creative and outstanding poem. Excellent write.




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