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Array ( [sid] => 83685 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => How Saved my Life [time] => 2005-02-09 16:47:08 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I was using the loo
When I heard breaking glass,
Well wouldn’t you know it,
I’m here on my ***.

I sat there real quiet,
And struggled to hear,
I quivered and shivered,
In absolute fear.

What if they found me,
With my pants round my feet,
Will they be friendly,
Or am I dead meat?

Their footsteps came close,
Right near the door,
I heard someone coughing,
And one of them swore.

One of them gagged,
“What in the hell.”
“Has something died-
What is that smell?”

It seems my ****
Had them running scared.
And the foul smell
Had left them impaired.

I pulled up my pants,
For now was my chance.
I rolled up my newspaper,
And made my advance.

There in the dark,
I was a formidable sight
They screamed like two girls,
And ran into the night.

So my life was spared,
Because I emit
An awful foul odor,
When I sit and ****.

[comments] => 8 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 7 [informant] => dtborchert [notes] => < Follow the site rules please! > [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 16 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => HumorPoetry )

How Saved my Life

Contributed by dtborchert on Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 04:47:08 PM in AEST
Topic: HumorPoetry

I was using the loo
When I heard breaking glass,
Well wouldn’t you know it,
I’m here on my ***.

I sat there real quiet,
And struggled to hear,
I quivered and shivered,
In absolute fear.

What if they found me,
With my pants round my feet,
Will they be friendly,
Or am I dead meat?

Their footsteps came close,
Right near the door,
I heard someone coughing,
And one of them swore.

One of them gagged,
“What in the hell.”
“Has something died-
What is that smell?”

It seems my ****
Had them running scared.
And the foul smell
Had left them impaired.

I pulled up my pants,
For now was my chance.
I rolled up my newspaper,
And made my advance.

There in the dark,
I was a formidable sight
They screamed like two girls,
And ran into the night.

So my life was spared,
Because I emit
An awful foul odor,
When I sit and ****.

Copyright Â© dtborchert ... [ 2005-02-09 16:47:08]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by GingerB on Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 05:04:09 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

LMAO!! I needed to read something like this today.

Ginny

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by fielding88 on Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 05:25:04 PM AEST
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lol talk about amazing inspiration for a poem. The name alone pulled me in lol and the poem took care of the rest. You have a gud sense of humor, lol keep it up

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 05:40:52 PM AEST
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Much better than some of the other sh*t I've read on this site. Hee Hee. This was really freaking funny. I was trying to picture the whole scene. lol Funny sh*t. Much peace to you.

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by waos on Wednesday, 9th February 2005 @ 06:06:33 PM AEST
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lol - huge lol

~waos/kara

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on Saturday, 12th February 2005 @ 04:00:54 PM AEST
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LOL. Nice!

Scott

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 21st April 2005 @ 05:26:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

OOh you smelly cow! hee hee did naughty Tena get deleted for swearing? I loved this!

Johnny.

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by inoc on Thursday, 21st April 2005 @ 05:57:33 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I read this aloud to my son and he cackled all the way through it ...I had to keep reading it over and over again....
thanks for the laughs....
cheers!~

Re: How Saved my Life (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Thursday, 21st April 2005 @ 06:07:34 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

PMSL!!!!! Tena you're insane, i loved this funny smelly poem of yours.

Jane

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