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Array
(
[sid] => 83519
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => My Struggle
[time] => 2005-02-08 16:41:21
[hometext] => self explainatory, comments very appreciated
[bodytext] => I sit alone in darkness A pure evil starts to roam across my heart The knife lies alone I whisper my goodbyes to the dim moonlight filtering through my window I wrap my fingers around the handle I kiss the blade The cool steely touch against my lips sends chills through my body Fear and pain float around in my mind I try to remember when it all began When I started wanting to end what I thought was my tragic un-existing life It was a time of overwhelming stress A time when I tried to hide my true self Tried to hide the scars and despair Tried to cover the lies and untruths As I would walk past my peers in the hall id cover my face Never wanting them to guess Never wanting them to see It was just that morning the teacher said hi Just that afternoon I had lunch with my friends Just that evening I went online and he made me laugh And only hours ago my mom said she loved me The glint of light flashed across the cold steel of the blade in my hand Reminding me of the light of hope and dreams that had become an unknown comfort I hold the knife against my wrist Positioning it under the gold bracelet I got last Christmas My fingers slide over the gold links connecting the tiny golden hearts I feel it slice through the flesh and tissue I start to see the essence of a person’s life start to drop on the bed Blood My Blood The droplets of blood painted a crimson mural against my skin and sheets The metallic sent drifts through the room I look down and see, to many, the sacred ruby river flow from my cut Nothingness begins to set in I regret so much Yet wish…….. Pray…… For help, For life My body goes limp as it falls to the floor In the midst of unconsciousness My own tears of sorrow and anguish fall to mix with the blood, the life I have stolen from myself My Blood My Life My Death Yet through everything I feel his arms The arms of he who touched my life I feel as though im drowning But through the excruciating void I feel his strength Feeling his tears slide down my cheek I begin to fight just he is A fight that could let me see the future Or have me slip into oblivion To have me see the ones who love me grieve at my grave To see there tears water the many flowers that would be surrounding my coffin I hear something Sirens? Then nothing I wake up in a clean white room Cotton bandages are wrapped around my, forever scarred, wrist I look through the window I see… The sun? A second chance? Yes to both but I also see… Life This is for, who I like to think of as, my guardian angel at times Luv ya Kid [comments] => 2 [counter] => 149 [topic] => 36 [informant] => kisser89 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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