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Array
(
[sid] => 83124
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => ''Refuse for the pain Wh*re part II...''
[time] => 2005-02-05 16:57:21
[hometext] => "A Cartharsis twists into Tragedy..."
[bodytext] => I am ensanguined. Watch me bleed. I am burning. I'm learning. Educated in your skills of deception. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE! TAKE IT IN! My retribution. Watch this girl saunter in her putrid sin. This pretty whore. AM I BEAUTIFUL NOW? AM I EVERYTHING YOU WANTED? I've tried so hard. but nothing is ever simple. Is my ritual good enough for you? I bleed. I need. PATHETIC! What's wrong with this picture? YOU FED ME THIS SH*T BUT YOU WILL SWALLOW IT! Blasphemously I sit in the Garden of Mary, And the devil serpent wraps itself around my neck As I pick her black flowers. And I whisper. He loves me not. He loves me not... And I scream. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME? Why can't you just love me? I never thought the fires of this purgatory would reach me, I never thought the smoke could decieve me. But i'm here now and there's no escape. I am lost and all I see is hate! Bleed dry. Bleed dry. I'm burning. YOU'RE NEVER THERE! I'm learning. HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU CARE? You only hurt the ones you love, But these bruises keep returning. Blood from an oral orifice, And people who care don't do this! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! I bleed. I bleed. Bleed. This feeling returns. And i do it again. I can't stop. But it's not like before. Ecstacy doesn't surround me, Just a resounding pain. This isn't right. Letters to words, words to phrases, Around in my head, They fill me. I'm not alone? THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE THIS? WHY WON'T YOU JOIN MY IN THIS ILLEGITAMATE BLISS? This is so *******. Everything is *******. YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER VICTIM! BUT I WON'T BE LIKE YOU! THE LETTERS CHANGE, IT'S NOT LIKE LAST TIME! BECAUSE NOW THEY SPELL I HATE YOU!!! (C) Bethanie Martell, 23rd jaunary 2005. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 161 [topic] => 61 [informant] => xMizeriex [notes] => (Please keep it clean or you will be banned from site) [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 2 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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