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Array ( [sid] => 82753 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => The Disease [time] => 2005-02-03 00:17:14 [hometext] => * This took me a while to write and it ended up kind of oddly, but I like it. Couldn't think of a better title so the one I have now will have to suffice * [bodytext] => Please stop me I'm bleeding
I don't know what I'm desperately needing
I have no place to hide,
But within myself I have cried
As I cover my sadness
With a fake facade of happiness

I shall take joy in your every quaking denial
Which will be swiftly repaid in blood
This will not be something you will forget in a little while
I will show you more mercy than I should,
But with bitternes you will sleep
And with fear you will weep

Violently I will seak release
Screaming for surcease
I stare agape at my bloodied hands
As I kneel in failure's sands (hands)
Grieving upon my numbed knees
As I give in, to this disease [comments] => 5 [counter] => 143 [topic] => 13 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

The Disease

Contributed by bobotheclown on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 12:17:14 AM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Please stop me I'm bleeding
I don't know what I'm desperately needing
I have no place to hide,
But within myself I have cried
As I cover my sadness
With a fake facade of happiness

I shall take joy in your every quaking denial
Which will be swiftly repaid in blood
This will not be something you will forget in a little while
I will show you more mercy than I should,
But with bitternes you will sleep
And with fear you will weep

Violently I will seak release
Screaming for surcease
I stare agape at my bloodied hands
As I kneel in failure's sands (hands)
Grieving upon my numbed knees
As I give in, to this disease

Copyright © bobotheclown ... [ 2005-02-03 00:17:14]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: The Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 02:51:59 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Ohh that was just dark throughout I liked it a lot Joel.
You've been writing with so much passion it's just awesome to see you grow as a writer.
Kudos on a great write.

Jane x

Re: The Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 11:37:43 AM AEST
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very well penned dark write, look forward to your next poem,
pix xx

Re: The Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 11:03:10 PM AEST
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i liked this one very much. very creative in its presentation when most of your ideas seem so overplayed here, but this was new, it was original, it was fantastico.

Re: The Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by waos on Tuesday, 8th February 2005 @ 01:12:39 PM AEST
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Awesome job Joel. This one is really good I think. I like it a lot.
The flow/rhythm of it kept me into it the whole time and I enjoyed it a lot
the whole way through. I really felt I could relate to it and it was like
I was going through what you wrote while I read it. You rock!

~Waos/Kara

Re: The Disease (User Rating: 1 )
by Kami on Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 07:25:58 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

very good!
deep but very nice job with the rhyiming
keep up the good work!

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