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Array
(
[sid] => 82639
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Window Pains
[time] => 2005-02-02 13:48:46
[hometext] => I tried my pen at Timebot's challenge, to write from an alternate perspective
[bodytext] => Sometimes you see right through me
As you look out from your self
You place your hands upon me
Leave your feelings on the shelf
At times I am opaque
Only vagueness seeping through
Just like your appearance
When others look at you
I can provide security
In moments of attack
And let you look at others
With out them seeing you back
You reach out and slam me closed
Sometimes you paint me shut
Under stress I finally break
Blood flowing from the cut
I'll hold the elements at bay
In silent servitude
While you dress me up in trappings
That somehow fit your mood
I will keep you comfortable
And sheltered from the cold
You can stare intently at me
And I won't reveal a soul
[comments] => 18
[counter] => 228
[topic] => 25
[informant] => Nazmythian
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 48
[ratings] => 10
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => MiscPoems
)
Window Pains
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 01:48:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Sometimes you see right through me
As you look out from your self
You place your hands upon me
Leave your feelings on the shelf
At times I am opaque
Only vagueness seeping through
Just like your appearance
When others look at you
I can provide security
In moments of attack
And let you look at others
With out them seeing you back
You reach out and slam me closed
Sometimes you paint me shut
Under stress I finally break
Blood flowing from the cut
I'll hold the elements at bay
In silent servitude
While you dress me up in trappings
That somehow fit your mood
I will keep you comfortable
And sheltered from the cold
You can stare intently at me
And I won't reveal a soul
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2005-02-02 13:48:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 01:49:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow Nazzy that was soul bearing :) very good, loved it
takecare#
pix xx |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 01:53:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Whoa, this was great! All true, but when you put it that way, it does personify a window's personality. Cheers!
*be sure and put the URL in the challenge forum so I can keep track* I'll be making a chart of who has done which challenges later on.... Nice going! |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 02:01:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Wow! It's like a riddle. I can tell it would take several reads to comprehend better, but at times I surely felt the familiarity of it.
Stitch |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 02:22:47 PM AEST
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| I say that was soul bearing wow Naz.its amazing. |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 02:24:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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a masterpiece I loved this each word flowed and carried me along this is poetry through and through
Michelle |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 03:18:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Not sure if I'm seeing everything in this write...it does seem a bit transparent to me.....hehehe.
Seriously, a very awsome perspective!
well done sir!!!!
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 03:21:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I don't know what the challenge was ..but it reminds me of how you take care of me..my friend and my love..my window..my shade..my friend..my 501(s)..my fireplace..Oh geez..you're open and the shades aren't drawn!!!! |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 03:23:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Your words have left me breathless once again, cheri Naz... Deliciously enchanting and flawless to the very end... Lovely expressions evoke memories, and form melting sorrow... I weep. Gorgeous, Scott... absolutely gorgeous piece.
Words this beautiful and captivating should be seen and felt by all...so mote it be. I hope to gaze into your soul once more, for in your writing, your essence shines brilliantly through... All my love. Forever,
Votre fleur séduite. *Stephy* |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 03:37:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
this is such a cool poem, i love how you wrote this, it is perfect:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by redtempest13 on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 04:55:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Interesting, I've never read a poem quite like that. Great write. Keep up the good work.
-Gin- |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by the_Ghost_Moth on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 08:29:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Trent Reznor,
here's some new stuff, man.
The 3rd and 4th stanzas
really intensify the whole thing,
make it real, not just drama.
--Ghosty |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 08:31:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
I had forgot the title entirely by the first stanza, and I was wondering who this was about . . . until I realised that it was about a window - read it back and was thoroughly impressed with the involution of the metaphor!
Excellent stuff, Naz. I see this poetry challenge has brought out the best in the participants . . . |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rxqueen on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 09:43:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I never knew a window to be so thought provoking and deep, lol. This was definately very interesting. I really like the perspective you chose. You made me fall in love with a window you crazy fool. Good write! |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 10:33:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This piece evinces your raw talent. Bravo! Very well done.
Laurie |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Friday, 4th February 2005 @ 05:09:00 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Bravo! This was very well-done. Vivid and eloquent wording, and a great subject. I like it much, my friend.
Andrew |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 09:52:43 AM AEST
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Hi Naz,
Wow, I really like this poem and your use of the window to represent your feelings regarding what I would call transparency issues. How we guard and protect our degree of exposure. I hope I haven't missed the point, as I know how you enjoy hidden meanings.
A superb poem
Willofree, Terry |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 6th February 2005 @ 03:45:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow Scott...
I could almost forget (Like Nep, heehee) that this is about a window.
Though..I'm sure it's probably sort of about more than a window, on some level.
Anyway, this is a stunning write,
Very thought provoking.
*hugs you tight*
Phil xxx |
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Re: Window Pains
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 01:08:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
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well i'm not gonna look at windows the same again lol
i loved this nazzy.
the point of view its written from, the wording, the emotions, just everything.
beautiful write.
loved this,
Becky |
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