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Array ( [sid] => 82495 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Requiem [time] => 2005-02-01 15:15:36 [hometext] => Ok so I was a pathetic 16 year old who'd lost his girlfriend to her own self destructive nature and I wrote this. I'm pretty emotionally retarded sometimes lol... [bodytext] => Memories with razor edges scar my mind,
Torn up memories of when you left me behind.
Over exposed photographs in flashing dreams,
I watch you again and again fall apart at the seams.
All the tears you cried burnt through my skin,
Leaving scars, a testament to a war you couldn't win.
You are gone but I can still feel your pain,
As I lie arms out face to the rain.
Yet with crystal clarity your eyes are still there,
You look into me when my life is to much to bare.
I'm losing to the fear of living without you now,
But you call me on and you tell me how.
I know now that you needed a release,
And I couldn't help you find peace.
This is my failure. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 24 [informant] => acid_lucidity [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => LoveRemembered )

Requiem

Contributed by acid_lucidity on Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 03:15:36 PM in AEST
Topic: LoveRemembered

Memories with razor edges scar my mind,
Torn up memories of when you left me behind.
Over exposed photographs in flashing dreams,
I watch you again and again fall apart at the seams.
All the tears you cried burnt through my skin,
Leaving scars, a testament to a war you couldn't win.
You are gone but I can still feel your pain,
As I lie arms out face to the rain.
Yet with crystal clarity your eyes are still there,
You look into me when my life is to much to bare.
I'm losing to the fear of living without you now,
But you call me on and you tell me how.
I know now that you needed a release,
And I couldn't help you find peace.
This is my failure.

Copyright © acid_lucidity ... [ 2005-02-01 15:15:36]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Requiem (User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 05:40:08 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Loved it. I also got a chuckle out of your preface when you said you are "pretty emotionally retarted sometimes" LOL I totally relate to that feeling. And also I feel like I relate to this poem....the way to described everything reminds me of the way I might, especially with your last line....This is my failure. I felt that one.

Over exposed photographs in flashing dreams,
I watch you again and again fall apart at the seams.
All the tears you cried burnt through my skin,
Leaving scars, a testament to a war you couldn't win.

I thought this part was especially creative. I love your images and descriptions. I think the best poetry is the kind that gets the meaning out through the intensity of descriptiveness of the images. That's always what makes me feel poetry the most.

This is my failure.

I ended a poem, with that exact same line once.....only the way I ended it was "You have already failed" Basically my point is that I relate to that feeling very, very well. I liked this poem, although I thought it was a little over dramatic, but hey, when your dealing with relationships, everything is always overdramatic.

Be True,
zenmind

Re: Requiem (User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on Monday, 21st February 2005 @ 10:52:26 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a good write. You described your feelings with eloquence.
Stitch

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