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Array ( [sid] => 82342 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => To Make You Proud [time] => 2005-01-31 17:35:42 [hometext] => Another write about my mom , suffering from Alzheimers. Our last true conversation left us both with sadness, and disappointment, and a feeling of guilt that stays with me. My one hope is that one day, she''l be watching and know she made an impact [bodytext] => You're lost somewhere, between heaven and hell,
Hearing voices in the night.
Scared to death, yet, who can you tell-
You're stuck some place,
So deep within your mind.

A world where no one seems to understand,
Or can see, what it is you see -
Oh mamma, I wish it were different,
That it didn't have to be.

Maybe then, I'd have one chance to say,
How much you mean to me.
Maybe then you'd remember me, in a different way,
I'd do anything to make you proud, of me .

For once in my life,
To know you're smilin' down on me -
I'd do anything, mamma I would...

Time's become so short,
And you're feeling so much pain.
You can't find any words, to explain.
You're trapped in a place,
Not able to escape -

I'm sorry I can't do anything more for you than pray...

I pray that you will soar,
Fly, and be free.
Away from the maddness,
You mean the word tome.

Oh mamma -
I'm sorry I caused you so much pain,
And I wish I'd never caused a single tear to fall,
If there was anything at all -
I could change, know I would,
If I could.

Mamma I love you!
I only want to make you proud... [comments] => 4 [counter] => 212 [topic] => 50 [informant] => mbs [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => ApologyPoetry )

To Make You Proud

Contributed by mbs on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 05:35:42 PM in AEST
Topic: ApologyPoetry

You're lost somewhere, between heaven and hell,
Hearing voices in the night.
Scared to death, yet, who can you tell-
You're stuck some place,
So deep within your mind.

A world where no one seems to understand,
Or can see, what it is you see -
Oh mamma, I wish it were different,
That it didn't have to be.

Maybe then, I'd have one chance to say,
How much you mean to me.
Maybe then you'd remember me, in a different way,
I'd do anything to make you proud, of me .

For once in my life,
To know you're smilin' down on me -
I'd do anything, mamma I would...

Time's become so short,
And you're feeling so much pain.
You can't find any words, to explain.
You're trapped in a place,
Not able to escape -

I'm sorry I can't do anything more for you than pray...

I pray that you will soar,
Fly, and be free.
Away from the maddness,
You mean the word tome.

Oh mamma -
I'm sorry I caused you so much pain,
And I wish I'd never caused a single tear to fall,
If there was anything at all -
I could change, know I would,
If I could.

Mamma I love you!
I only want to make you proud...

Copyright © mbs ... [ 2005-01-31 17:35:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: To Make You Proud (User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 06:04:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Please don't torture yourself this way. Do you really think your Mother would want you in so much pain. I do understand the sadness and frustration you are feeling. I've been a nurse a very long time and most of those years were with the elderly. I once worked on an Alzheimers unit in a veterens facility, a very tough place. Please know most of the time they're in "their" place they are happy and comfortable, but yes it can be so frustrating to deal with. I once took care of a lady with the disease who pretty much made up her on dictionary of words. 57 Chevy was when she needed a cigarette there was other words but can't recall at the moment. It's been 20 yrs ago. Just remember the family feeling totally lost. Hang in there. There are groups out there where you can talk to other folks having the same difficulties. You can always talk to me as well. Much peace to you. Laura

Re: To Make You Proud (User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 06:12:02 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

4 the hug she can't give u, but would, if she could.

((((((((((((((((4 mbs)))))))))))))))))

Dorian Chambers

Re: To Make You Proud (User Rating: 1 )
by HiDdEnTEARS on Monday, 31st January 2005 @ 07:05:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i can relate...

my grandma also suffers from the same thing and i can't even remember what she was like when she was well... i always feel guilty for not appreciating her... i wish she could know and remember how much i love her.

just remember its not your fault... even though my grandma can not respond or react to my words or hugs i have a strong gut that she knows i love her and im sure your mom knows you love her too.

best of luck
-Callie

Re: To Make You Proud (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 09:08:49 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

that was such a sad and touching write, l;eft a lump in my throat *hugs*
pix xx

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