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Array ( [sid] => 81392 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Silent Screams [time] => 2005-01-25 09:10:37 [hometext] => I am a cutter and brunner I had to write this in oder not to cut. My teacher and my school all found out about the cutting I am tring very hard not to do it anymore. [bodytext] => I scream these silent screams of horror and of pain.
I would be sent away, put in residental treatment,
if others could hear me scream my silent screams.
With each cut, with each delicate line of blood bubbling up.
I feel a release a sense of happiness.
With each silent scream I get a little more attention.
Like "what happened to your arm?"
With a blade slicing through my warm fleash.
The pain of my life all the pain,
all the hurt slowly bleeds out to the point where I no longer hurt.
The sweet, sweet feeling of blades against my bare skin.
When depression took over,
my soul withered away.
I've become a slave to blades,
a slave to cutting.
While deep in my heart I know that this isn't the way to deal,
but I've grown accustom to it,
grown to love it,
grown to need it.
Secrectly I scream silent screams that only my arms can show.
In my heart I know I should scream out,
tell the world what I do,
but I don't I keep it all covered up with my fake plastic smile.
Maybe someone should listen to me scream,
before I take this blade to far,
do something I will regret.
So hear me scream,
please anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!
before I silence myself for good. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 61 [informant] => ale5shr [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )

Silent Screams

Contributed by ale5shr on Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 09:10:37 AM in AEST
Topic: selfstruggles

I scream these silent screams of horror and of pain.
I would be sent away, put in residental treatment,
if others could hear me scream my silent screams.
With each cut, with each delicate line of blood bubbling up.
I feel a release a sense of happiness.
With each silent scream I get a little more attention.
Like "what happened to your arm?"
With a blade slicing through my warm fleash.
The pain of my life all the pain,
all the hurt slowly bleeds out to the point where I no longer hurt.
The sweet, sweet feeling of blades against my bare skin.
When depression took over,
my soul withered away.
I've become a slave to blades,
a slave to cutting.
While deep in my heart I know that this isn't the way to deal,
but I've grown accustom to it,
grown to love it,
grown to need it.
Secrectly I scream silent screams that only my arms can show.
In my heart I know I should scream out,
tell the world what I do,
but I don't I keep it all covered up with my fake plastic smile.
Maybe someone should listen to me scream,
before I take this blade to far,
do something I will regret.
So hear me scream,
please anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!
before I silence myself for good.

Copyright © ale5shr ... [ 2005-01-25 09:10:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Silent Screams (User Rating: 1 )
by squeeks on Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 09:15:02 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I know this year has been a hard year for a lot of us, me too. There have been times when I've wanted to do what you are doing, but there are things that keep me going. Find something that you really love and let that keep you going. I know I have found something that has helped me and I'm sure you will too. You just have to think what makes you the most happy.

Re: Silent Screams (User Rating: 1 )
by Scarlett on Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 09:56:30 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this was good and it is good that you have chosen to do this rather than cut. i can relate to you and i know what it feels like to think you need that release but there are other ways of getting it. i'm not trying to sound cliched given where we are but try poetry if it has helped you writing this. you can get as angry as you want and as abusive as you want and it doesn't hurt anybody. it's helped me a lot, i understand myself more and i deal with my anger better.

if you need to talk then pm me coz sometimes it helps to just rant to someone.

be strong x

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