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Array ( [sid] => 81122 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => ThE hAvEn [time] => 2005-01-23 13:40:37 [hometext] => i don't like the last stanza...it was an assignment for english so it's not taht great [bodytext] => I hear whispers,
suspended in the frozen air.
I feel a loss,
though it is a loss i do not share.
rows upon rows of silent beds,
serenely resting
where so many tears were shed.

Dragging my fingers over their stones,
closing my eyes, paying homage.
I can feel an eerie chill on my bones,
a sudden emotional bondage.

I hear weeping
deprivation I cannot grasp.
anguish, lies, trust and love,
all occurences of the past.

characterized as a place of horror and dismay,
why?
when it is a place for the loved and respected to lay.
those cherished and remembered
are protected as they sleep,
do not worry,
this sheperd will never stray from his sheep. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 154 [topic] => 43 [informant] => NeonHusky [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )
ThE hAvEn

Contributed by NeonHusky on Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 01:40:37 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



I hear whispers,
suspended in the frozen air.
I feel a loss,
though it is a loss i do not share.
rows upon rows of silent beds,
serenely resting
where so many tears were shed.

Dragging my fingers over their stones,
closing my eyes, paying homage.
I can feel an eerie chill on my bones,
a sudden emotional bondage.

I hear weeping
deprivation I cannot grasp.
anguish, lies, trust and love,
all occurences of the past.

characterized as a place of horror and dismay,
why?
when it is a place for the loved and respected to lay.
those cherished and remembered
are protected as they sleep,
do not worry,
this sheperd will never stray from his sheep.




Copyright © NeonHusky ... [ 2005-01-23 13:40:37]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: ThE hAvEn (User Rating: 1 )
by afterdark on Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 03:34:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I liked the first stanza and agree with you on the latter..It was good but lacked alot of what it could have been..You have the chance to be much better..Find your outlet.


Re: ThE hAvEn (User Rating: 1 )
by Hiddendarkness1705 on Tuesday, 3rd May 2005 @ 05:48:21 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I think that it was beautiful...sometimes poems don't always fit an "exact" layout....
I think it was good...it really held my attention and that's what it is all about..

Great write..
_Stacie




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