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(
[sid] => 80859
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => And dreams will fall away.
[time] => 2005-01-21 12:33:20
[hometext] => Constructive criticism appreciated.
[bodytext] => The seconds pull the night from me,
As if racing toward the furthest day,
And I wonder where my dreams have gone,
And If they somehow fell away,
Or are they hiding in my mind,
In some forgotten corner of me,
Ready to come out and fly,
At the first opportunity?
And the clock still ticks silently,
And the moments pass before my eyes,
As my thoughts come unbidden to me,
And sleep is wanted but only denied
And my mind comes out to play again,
Chasing parts of me inside my head,
As my dreams scream in protest,
Because I only have reality instead.
But reality is rewarding,
As the dreams just drop away,
Just as I think I am closer,
I have to start again,
Find myself some new dreams,
To replace the ones that die,
Until reality hits me,
And I realize I'm living a lie.
But every single day I mourn,
The loss of every dream,
Because what I really wanted,
Was not what it had seemed,
And every single breath I take,
Brings me further from the last,
As my dreams of my future rush to me,
But soon become my past.
But sleep is now welcoming,
The thoughts have passed away,
My dreams are running free now,
Until it comes to day...
And dreams will fall away...
[comments] => 19
[counter] => 268
[topic] => 32
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 35
[ratings] => 7
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => SadPoetry
)
And dreams will fall away.
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:33:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The seconds pull the night from me,
As if racing toward the furthest day,
And I wonder where my dreams have gone,
And If they somehow fell away,
Or are they hiding in my mind,
In some forgotten corner of me,
Ready to come out and fly,
At the first opportunity?
And the clock still ticks silently,
And the moments pass before my eyes,
As my thoughts come unbidden to me,
And sleep is wanted but only denied
And my mind comes out to play again,
Chasing parts of me inside my head,
As my dreams scream in protest,
Because I only have reality instead.
But reality is rewarding,
As the dreams just drop away,
Just as I think I am closer,
I have to start again,
Find myself some new dreams,
To replace the ones that die,
Until reality hits me,
And I realize I'm living a lie.
But every single day I mourn,
The loss of every dream,
Because what I really wanted,
Was not what it had seemed,
And every single breath I take,
Brings me further from the last,
As my dreams of my future rush to me,
But soon become my past.
But sleep is now welcoming,
The thoughts have passed away,
My dreams are running free now,
Until it comes to day...
And dreams will fall away...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-01-21 12:33:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:37:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This does not seem to be the work of someone who is suffering from writer's block.
Very well written, very enjoyable read. |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:40:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Yeah, sometimes it's easier to overcome the block just by writing about it. And this one is sooo fine, Phil. Hugs! |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:55:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Let me be truthful..I got no further than this:
"The seconds pull the night from me,
As if racing toward the furthest day,
And I wonder where my dreams have gone,"
I have to come back..that was so breathtaking that I had to stop and tell you..I couldn't read on..now I'm going back to read the rest.. really.. |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:58:52 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
ok..I finished and it's all just as brilliant as the beginning.. wow.. wish it was my work.. but I really love that first part..here's one thing:
And every single breath it take, I think you meant
And every single breath I take,? maybe????
a quadrillion stars...
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 01:11:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
*works hard to catch her breath*
You are incredible! This is profound.
Stitch
(overwhelmingly impressed) |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 01:20:21 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
*Takes a deep Breath*
Phil that was just breathtakigly good, the amount of sadness to it was just too good for words. Outstanding work Phil great poem.
Jane x |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 01:21:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This a great poem. Very awesome write.
Spazzo |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 02:56:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
incredible as always
Michelle |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 05:22:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Glad to see your muse is back! and with a vengance!!!!
You weer really saving up for this one Phil. Its so AWSOME!!!!!
Not to sound condesending but somehow I actually feel PROUD of you! This was fantastic! |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 23rd January 2005 @ 12:01:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| see, that writers block was setting us up for this. We all ancipated somthing marvalous adn you delivered, worth every second of the wait! |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sapphire_Blue on
Monday, 24th January 2005 @ 07:31:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Nice write, Phil, sad yet awakening the words with talented power and mezmerising Strength cool write. |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 27th January 2005 @ 12:38:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Awesome writing. A masterpeice.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 11:54:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
moving and very deep, so well written. I hope that all your dreams come true for you one day soon hun *hugs*
love pix xx |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Sunday, 30th January 2005 @ 02:03:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Nice work!! The flow and rhythm were so good - made it a huge enjoyment
to read. Thank you. It's so beautiful I thought. I don't know if there is anything
there I would even consider changing. I loved this. Totally loved it. My favorite part
I guess is just how you went from dreams to reality to dreams again, really good.
~Waos/Kara |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Tuesday, 1st February 2005 @ 05:16:07 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I absolutely love this poem. Maybe it's because i just posted a poem on "Mourning the Dream." But beyond that I love the words, structure and flow of this poem: It is so POETIC!!!!!!! I really like your style of writing.
This is a magnificant write
Willofree |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 2nd February 2005 @ 04:54:49 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
truely beautiful, great flow:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Thursday, 3rd February 2005 @ 02:01:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Dreams...
they weave together the motif of each life- leading it on, calling.
Depth and meaning is etched into your lines.
A very powerful write.
Well done!
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bleeding_Nightmares on
Monday, 7th February 2005 @ 11:00:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Dreams vivid and clear, I only have nightmares. excellent poem flowing with style. |
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Re: And dreams will fall away.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 17th February 2005 @ 09:37:25 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
*stares dumbly and then pouts* Okay, so i've given in trying to chose a favourite of yours, its simply not possible. This was... wow... lol, see how articulate you've left me?
Take Care
- Becca |
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