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Affair (Such A Man)
Contributed by
Dri
on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 04:21:14 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
there is nothing i can say
nothing
that won't scar my throat
and burn my lips
you
downcast
confronted with my deepest flaw
never have i seen
such a man
in such a state of mind
can't deny
the ancient writing
set in stone
the lover's story of betrayal and wrong
your hands cover your face
leaning forward, hutched
in a kitchen chair
grief
for your loss of your faith in me
"Why?" and the word drops
from your mouth to shatter on the floor
a shard embeds it's self in my tounge
and i can't speak
just avert my eyes
from your trembling form
I wish I could say
that it had nothing to do with you
that I have always been this
half-a-human who couldn't hold on
to love
Copyright ©
Dri
... [
2005-01-19 16:21:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Affair (Such A Man)
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 04:35:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I just want to point this out:
"Why?" and the word drops
from your mouth to shatter on the floor
a shard embeds it's self in my tounge
and i can't speak
just avert my eyes
from your trembling form
That struck me. I love the image. Very powerful.
the lover's story of betrayal and wrong
your hands cover your face
leaning forward, hutched
in a kitchen chair
grief
I think that expresses the essence of what this poem is about. An honest depiction.
Be true,
zenmind |
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Re: Affair (Such A Man)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 04:35:47 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| ...Wow. That was a really deep, truly amazing poem! |
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Re: Affair (Such A Man)
(User Rating: 1 )
by autumngreeneyes on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 05:06:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love the poem..any poem that uses the word shards..I the word It's should be its..but I could be wrong.. where is your ballerina poem? |
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Re: Affair (Such A Man)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 19th January 2005 @ 05:12:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is so powerful. Raw and honest. Great work. |
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Re: Affair (Such A Man)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 20th January 2005 @ 03:57:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Brutally honest and real and really good stuff. You need to correct a few things with spelling and punctuation, but this is awesome.
Stitch |
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