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Array ( [sid] => 80323 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Snow [time] => 2005-01-17 19:34:43 [hometext] => This was my first poem and without this one nothing would have come after it. I was restless one night, and it simply flowed out. When i was finished, I fell right asleep. I really love this poem, and if I go anywhere on my writing merit, this is why. [bodytext] => Here I lie, adrift in snow.
For what reason, I do not know.
And so my life was lived for this,
And not a love that I did miss.

My lover left, this much I see,
This woman once held dear to me.
For she was not given the one reward
A relationship like ours was working toward.

The key that held my deepest desire,
To love one that I so admired
Was lost to me, all this I know
Along with myself, adrift, in the cold, white snow…
[comments] => 8 [counter] => 181 [topic] => 22 [informant] => fielding88 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 24 [ratings] => 5 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )

Snow

Contributed by fielding88 on Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:34:43 PM in AEST
Topic: LostLove

Here I lie, adrift in snow.
For what reason, I do not know.
And so my life was lived for this,
And not a love that I did miss.

My lover left, this much I see,
This woman once held dear to me.
For she was not given the one reward
A relationship like ours was working toward.

The key that held my deepest desire,
To love one that I so admired
Was lost to me, all this I know
Along with myself, adrift, in the cold, white snow…

Copyright Â© fielding88 ... [ 2005-01-17 19:34:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:36:51 PM AEST
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Wow! This is excellent. Very impressive for having been your first poem ever written. Nice work.

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by Kano on Monday, 17th January 2005 @ 07:42:17 PM AEST
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Very good poem. It is amazing how that works isn't it? I quit writing poems when I was about ten then all of the sudden one night I just started writing and I have not stopped yet. Very good poem It is well written good job.

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by CarlyGirl on Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 08:36:12 AM AEST
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Wow You can have more restless nights like this I love your work!!!:)

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by CurtisC on Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 12:01:36 PM AEST
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very nice, It has the same kinda style as a lot of stuff that I write so I really like this one...good write

Curtis

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Tuesday, 18th January 2005 @ 03:05:44 PM AEST
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I'll say its better than the first poem I ever wrote. Its visually adept, and rhymes. 2 things I like in poetry. I'll spare you any constructive commentary, because I don't know how long ago this was written, and I suspect that you have improved in some fashion since then . . .

so until you submit again, I am

N_F

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Friday, 22nd April 2005 @ 09:06:20 PM AEST
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better than poe i must say. that is a feat in itself. i could go on for days about this poem, but i will simply say that i loved it, and there is not a reason to feel otherwise.

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by xXcrossedXx on Tuesday, 21st June 2005 @ 01:05:02 PM AEST
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Beautifully written, especially for your first poem! Everything flowed wonderfully and the ending was brilliant, keeo up more like these.

--amanda--

Re: Snow (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 7th March 2009 @ 03:33:26 AM AEST
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And I am so glad you started and kept going. I would say you're a natural and this is great; espeically considering it's your first poem.

Takecare.

Tim

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