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Array ( [sid] => 79794 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Indecision [time] => 2005-01-13 20:15:21 [hometext] => A haiku in three parts. [bodytext] => I

Eyes are like fire.

His tan hands holding mine.

I do not love him.

II

He walks past softly.

My eyes trace his every move.

My secret lover.

III

Which one will I choose?

One may love me more or less.

I'd rather choose death.

[comments] => 3 [counter] => 172 [topic] => 17 [informant] => hdngfrmthelight [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Haiku )

Indecision

Contributed by hdngfrmthelight on Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:15:21 PM in AEST
Topic: Haiku

I

Eyes are like fire.

His tan hands holding mine.

I do not love him.

II

He walks past softly.

My eyes trace his every move.

My secret lover.

III

Which one will I choose?

One may love me more or less.

I'd rather choose death.

Copyright © hdngfrmthelight ... [ 2005-01-13 20:15:21]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Indecision (User Rating: 1 )
by pUnKa_RaCh on Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:19:28 PM AEST
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i like these,,,they like...this is brilliant and original

Re: Indecision (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Thursday, 13th January 2005 @ 08:31:28 PM AEST
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these were excellent haikus, except for the first one. the first one isnt really a hiaku because it doesnt follow the 5/7/5 format, but i still like the concept of it. i liked how this was in parts but still related to each other. i loved the last haiku especially. very well written and powerful. i hope to read more of your poetry soon.

Re: Indecision (User Rating: 1 )
by hdngfrmthelight on Friday, 14th January 2005 @ 05:15:42 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

DOh. Your'e right. There's a beat missing in the middle of the first stanza.

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