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Array
(
[sid] => 7908
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Anniversary
[time] => 2002-12-04 00:00:00
[hometext] => *This next one was written on the 'anniversary' of when I first got depressed. Interestingly enough it is also the girl's b-day (the first girl who rejected me)*
[bodytext] => Its been a year now,
But this anniversary Will not be celebrated With candles, song, and dance Or champagne or fireworks No, I'll just be given Another dose of meds I hate feeling like this Sad, downcast, and sore Everything is dark I can't see my attackers Yet, they bring me down so easily And wound me grieviously While I try to fight them off, alone Unconsciousness is my drug Or maybe just a dream For when I am conscious They attack and scar my mind Tear at my already weakened body Instead of being courageous I'm scared and cowardly They attack in waves And divide my body, amongst their devilish hordes And as I scream in unknown agony It only seems to draw out Their pent up fury Their eyes filled with demonic energy Seem to tactfully avoid my fear-ridden eyes Its your birthday My anniversary While you celebrate I will remember, or try to What it was like to be filled with joy And I'll try not to cut, But remembering you is hard And the darkness surrounds me In its cold, uninviting embrace Cutting myself on things unseen Losing my way, as no light is provided I rub myself trying to draw in some warmth I'm left with no answers So I'll sit here and cry... silently Sitting here the pressure is immense I feel like I'm about to explode or drown The depression, loneliness, rejection Needless to say I'm not celebrating Outside its raining and cold A mirror image of how I feel Maybe its time for me to leave this place I think I've had enough [comments] => 5 [counter] => 275 [topic] => 36 [informant] => bobotheclown [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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