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Array
(
[sid] => 79046
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Paint With The Pain On My Face
[time] => 2005-01-08 17:48:23
[hometext] => COMMENT PLEASE!!!!
[bodytext] => My canvas is my heart that has been decimated Decimated how? You painted deceit, lies, dishonesty, and ambiguity on my emotions The brush you use is made up of the strands of hair you tore from my head You hit me repeatedly and continuously Emotionally tried to shatter me and make me feel incomplete I apologize for not being the one you wanted I apologize for the fact that you never loved me Only time you showed any emotion was when you were beating on me I paint with the pain on my face I grew up in a bubble repressed irreversibly I am the pain that you gave I breathe the hate that you fed me I thrive in the underbelly of the sewers sustaining myself on feces Because you made me this way I cannot cry anymore ***** tears My ducts are dried up and have withered away I do not feel disappointment I know why you made me this way I felt like I was not good enough for the last 13 years You tried to destroy me hair by hair I paint with the pain on my face I stand here with my broken sense of self looking at the pieces They are mirrors and the reflections are those of… I do not even know what to call myself I do not even know if I have a real self My pain is my identity My pain is my heart My pain is my love My pain My pain I am so ***** fed up because all I know is that you caused my pain ***** you Because while you ***** me up all I had to love was the times When you were not beating me I paint with the pain on my face And those pictures are the only things you have given me [comments] => 3 [counter] => 165 [topic] => 6 [informant] => Rhino33 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => AngryPoetry )
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