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Array
(
[sid] => 7863
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => life of a lowlife
[time] => 2002-12-03 02:00:00
[hometext] => wow, the struggles. just life. how i wish i were better.
[bodytext] => ************************************ pain hot on your face when they tease you and you can't run and hide. tears. when they are all yellin and so are you, yellin at yourself. embarrassment when the whole world turns when he says how he feels, that it won't work out between us shame how i hang my head when i look at myself in the mirror with nothing to hide behind everyone is leaving am i pushing them away? cry because the truth is out and it hurts, stings in my heart of hearts everyone should step back let me breathe or crowd in keep me safe, protect me from myself, the demon girl in my head what the heck am i doing here? going nowhere, this world is stopped for me and i sit here and wonder if i belong and then this, all of it he says u told him no, u don't want me back and i listen and boom and it hurts like the bombs they drop and the lives they kill they're just words i wished for this so bad, it felt right one night, and then... the wind blew it all apart i see how it is though you try to make me sit here and be like, oh goodness, but u cant make me think of u so i am not thinkin so now i get the last laugh and i start to cry and if only for one day i could get what i wanted in the world i would bear this burden eagerly but i am not always like this. who am i without you? ~confused and bewildered~ ...."who's afraid of the big bad world?" "i am" [comments] => 4 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 13 [informant] => dantoad [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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